Celtics Lose When Kyrie Irving Tries to Kick the Ball into the Hoop

Written by Dave Henry

Thursday, 21 March 2019

image for Celtics Lose When Kyrie Irving Tries to Kick the Ball into the Hoop
Kyrie Irving at practice today

The Boston Celtics lost to the Philadelphia 76ers Wednesday after Kyrie Irving missed a last second shot that he tried to drop kick into the hoop.

“For the last shot, I called a play to get the ball to Kyrie, who would then drop kick the ball into the hoop,” said Celtics coach Brad Stephens. “We executed it to perfection but then Kyrie just kicked it way too hard and the ball went into the stands.”

The Celtics wound up losing by one point.

“I’ve never punted a ball into the hoop in a game before,” said Irving when asked why he missed so badly. “I’m not sure why coach called that play. I could have easily shot it into the hoop with my hands like I normally do as it was just a layup, but coach said I should kick it in so that’s what I tried to do.”

Irving wound up falling over as he kicked it as he was driving to the hoop at the time.

Stephens explained after the game why he told Irving to kick it rather than shoot it with his arms.

“See, everyone in the building thinks you’re going to ‘arm shoot’ it there, so I thought, why not change things up, fool them all, and have Kyrie kick shoot it?”

Sixers coach Brett Brown said he was indeed surprised by the call.

“I was shocked,” said Brown. “Why would anyone in their right mind call a play that involves punting the ball into the basket? It’s fucking moronic.”

The Celtics take on the Pacers Friday. They are currently working on some new plays for that game that involve donkeys.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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