Wall Would Improve Feng Shui of Southern Border

Written by Dave Henry

Friday, 25 January 2019

image for Wall Would Improve Feng Shui of Southern Border
All in all it’s just another brick in the wall, but it doesn’t have to be boring.

Just because a wall is a menacing symbol of division, intolerance, and paranoia, doesn’t mean it can’t be pretty, said noted interior designer, Gayle Douglas, of the hit HGTV show 'Screwdriver Wars.’

Douglas said this week that the region really needs a southern border wall to “bring the whole area together.”

“What’s really lacking down here is some kind of element to catch your eye,” said Douglas. “I look around, and all I see is cactus and tumbleweeds and small animals. But if there was a visual element, like, say, a wall, it would really make this entire area feel much more warm and cozy,” she added.

Douglas recommended pastel colors or earth tones for the wall, saying they would really highlight the Southwest theme of the area.

“You could also hang some Southwest themed art on the border wall, or some tapestries to bring it altogether,” she added.

A wall would also improve the feng shui along the Southern Border, said Douglas, who hosts the show 'Screwdriver Wars', where contestants are asked to build an entire house with nothing but a screwdriver. The winner gets to stab the loser one time in the thigh with the same screwdriver.

“If there was a wall, the energy flow as you move about the area would be vastly improved,” she added.

“All in all,” concluded Douglas, “it’s just another brick in a wall, but it doesn’t have to be boring.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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