British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is at the centre of an assault claim this morning, after he alleged that various European leaders 'ganged-up' on him after the end of the latest Brussels summit, and took turns to kick him up the bottom. Johnso…
With God and the world watching out for the coronavirus, the British cabinet has been hit by a glut of bugs and disorders it could well do without. Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, has gone down with German Measles. "I wasn't expecting this," he cr…
A news report about the UK roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine in London earlier today, contained what is being described as a "potentially damaging theory", after a long-haired lout said he would be resisting any government orders to be vaccinated b…
That arse Johnson is supposedly a serial shagger, but I gave him a dose of his own medicine. It was several years ago, and it went on for a while. Bozo's wife was mightily pissed off at his never-ending peccadillos, and she wanted to get her own b…
It was the heady days of the early 1980s when Thatcherism was in its heyday and the Iron Lady was riding the crest of a wave having won the Falklands War and her second election. I was a new boy, a spad, that’s a special adviser, seconded from Co…
In a move that is sure to surprise many once they've been made aware of it, the Manchester United defender and captain, Harry Maguire, has been selected by the British government to be the very first recipient in the country - and, therefore, on Eart…
Since his sinister adviser Dominic Cummings has gone, Boris Johnson's buffoonery has been allowed to romp unchecked. Numerous incidents in recent days have raised alarm among the PM's handlers. First, he posted a photo of his testes on Twitter, mi…
In sensational news coming out of the capital this morning, it's been claimed that, although it sees itself as the centre of modern business and finance, political tradition and progressive governance, the arts and all cultural thinking, London is ab…
Ex-SAS Man-turned-actor, Ross Kemp, has been stripped of the title that was pinned with honour on the CV that eventually won him his first role in EASTENDERS. The shamed actor with the petted lip is said to be devastated at the news. It's not t…
In his latest U-turn, Boris Johnson has heralded herd immunity as the golden path to obliterating the coronavirus. "I will no longer tolerate this sanctimonious deference and Pecksniffian capitulation with regard to Covid 19. I will not allow a fe…
It is a city of grim brick factories and grey terraced houses inhabited by simians, all dripping with constant rain. Now Manchester is more miserable than ever, with the news that it is under the tightest level of lockdown in the UK due to coronaviru…
Following Boris Johnson's quote from M People, of looking for the hero inside yourself, popular Twitter user and all-around satirical bloke Simon Williams asked: 'So, Mr Johnson, that is all very well, but what have you done today to make yourself pr…
For years, it was the love that dared not speak its creamy name. Queen Victoria famously said of secundophilia, "Any passion between a man and a pudding is abhorrent and unnatural." Until the 1950s, it was not uncommon for people caught pudding-f…
What is the nature of reality? How do we know what we know? These are questions that have challenged philosophers since the dawn of time. Bob Ianson believes he has found the answers after watching a video on YouTube. "It looked very convincing,"…
That model of integrity and honour, paragon of virtue, Boris Johnson, has expressed amazement at the EU's reaction to him wishing to renege on the withdrawal agreement he signed in January. "What a kerfuffle," began the Prime Minister, forcing EU…
Prime Minister Boris Johnson and a gaggle of other likeminded MPs have today completed phase one (of 74) in a series of “sexual Harassment In The Workplace” seminars. Johnson himself was rather excited by the whole event claiming: "The totty runni…
British A-level students are licking their wounds after the 'mutant algorithm', as Boris Johnson put it, has made a complete mess of results and allocations to further education institutes. Universities up and down the country were up in arms, while…
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