A self-isolating senior from Baltimore has discovered that internet porn 'is a thing', after spending the last sixteen days surfing the internet, and scrolling through dozens of online search results. 70-year-old Martha Mullett admitted, Monday, t...
For years, twisted perverts have pleasured themselves over classic geriatric porn with titles such as "Wrinkly Tits", "Dry, Dry Vages", and "Gravedodgers on Viagra". Yet now, the entire industry has shut down, as its stars are dropping like flies fro...
Throughout the early 1960s, in darkened rooms, an astonished nation would peer at its flickering black and white “television sets” on a regular basis at peak viewing times, aghast at what it was seeing. Before the populace’s very eyes, both young and...
As reported in these pages earlier in the week, Manchester United have, this morning, agreed terms with their former star player, Eric Cantona, to take over the management of the club from Ole Gunnar Solskjaer with immediate effect. Cantona, 53, w...
A man has complained about what he says is a systematic attempt to make him buy stuff, after he was repeatedly exposed to a particular advertizement whilst using the internet this very morning. The man, Moys Kenwood, 56, told of how, throughout hi...
WEST CHESTER, Pa. – The massively popular dating site Christian Mingle has been rocked by a sex scandal. "Threesomes, foursomes, pedophilia, bestiality, anal sex, cock-fingering, scat play, you name it and apparently 'God will provide it' through Chr...
Jesus once said, "The porn you will always have with you." He was right. In fact, porn is multiplying faster than the loaves and fishes. Last year more than 5.5 billion hours of porn were consumed on Pornhub, the world’s largest porn gallery (Pornhub...
"It was bit of a surprise and not something that appeals to me. I'm not really sure it's appropriate behaviour at work." Those were the words of ageing hospital administrator Paxton Quigley as he spoke to The Spoof on condition of anonymity. "I...
Harmless habit, or accursed addiction leading to blindness and blisters. Porn has been with us since prehistoric man first drew tits on a cave wall and settled down for a wank. Nevertheless, from this July, the UK will have the most restrictive po...
Sex is a sensitive subject, and can arouse vastly different feelings in people, from one person to another. Some people are very straight-laced, and can become outraged when sex is mentioned, believing it to be a bedroom topic. Other people th...
"If Premier League footballers can benefit from selling the use of their image, then why can't I?" asked John Thomas Hardwicke, alias the Cerne Abbas Giant, in conversation with The Spoof at his Dorset home. "For years and years, since the inventi...
A girl sat in the waiting area of an internationally-recognized English language school, was wearing a T-shirt with a message that was, it has to be said, 'slightly out of the ordinary'. The girl, aged about 13, was wearing the white T-shirt embla...
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis, in his new encyclical Masturbationes Licit, has now opened the practice of masturbation to some, but not all, Catholics. Said Pope Francis, “Given that our esteemed clergy appear to have—how do you say?—too much unrequited...
It is an obscure brand of pornography, invented in the 1970s, and uniquely British, and based around a centuries-old law that it is illegal to have sex with your local MP. The law was lifted in 1995, but the taboo continues. Videos of members of the...
Scientists from NASA have been surprised to discover more details about the nature of an unusual extraterrestrial object which recently flew through the solar system. Oumuamua, a very long and girthy asteroid, travelled around the Sun in 2018 and fle...
Dear Dr. Quigley My wife and I want to thank you so much for your help now that she has managed to give birth despite the fact that several years ago I was told I am completely sterile. Your treatment worked wonders and we are both happy that she didn't have to resort to IVF which can be a traumatic experience. A. Simpleton, Bangor. Mr. Simpleton, you don't have to thank me as it was my plea...
Tony and Mary, are in their seventies, and have been watched by thousands of people around the world on their web-enabled security cameras - and didn’t even know. In 2015, due to security concerns, they fitted their suburban semi with what they th...
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