An Article About Sex

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 19 May 2019

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Sex can be a tricky topic for some people

Sex is a sensitive subject, and can arouse vastly different feelings in people, from one person to another.

Some people are very straight-laced, and can become outraged when sex is mentioned, believing it to be a bedroom topic.

Other people think completely differently. They are very laid-back and liberal about it, they are not embarrassed by it, and even enjoy discussing it, especially when amongst friends.

There are countless others in between these two extremes, all with their very own opinions and stances on sex, and, to be honest, it can be like treading through a minefield, once the subject has been brought up.

The first thing we should say about sex, is that there are two of them: male and female. Some people would have you believe there are more, but there aren't. There is, however, something called the Androgynous Zone. This is where a person is 'somewhere in-between' being a male and a female, and may come across as being ' a bit of both'. These people are a bit odd, and best avoided.

In animals, sex is just as important. A male dog, for example, is called a 'dog', whilst a female dog is known as a 'bitch', just as females are known in the human world.

In some areas of the natural world, sex is confusing. Plants, for example, contain both the male and female sex parts needed for reproduction. They may reproduce by either sexual reproduction or asexual reproduction.

Plants do not indulge in sex in the same way that humans do, and there's none of the ungainly and undignified thrusting backwards and forwards, and thrashing about that many people find so unappealing.

It's a much more 'practical' thing, from which - as far as we know - the plants derive no enjoyment whatsoever.

Back in the human world, the word 'sex' sometimes appears on official forms in organizations such as banks, businesses and hospitals - but also, sometimes, in schools - when the organization requires information about the form-filler's gender.

Schoolchildren, and those who behave as if they are schoolchildren, should take note:

Writing "Yes, please!" is not the correct response.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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