Special US Envoy Elmer Fudd returned to the Capitol City after a short fact finding trip to the Middle East and beyond, sponsored by the US State Department. Elmer provided reporters his observations at a press conference, prior to communicating his...
Heaven: The Reverend Al Gore, the spiritual head of the Church of Environmental Scientology, briefly was out of communications range on the way to an environmental conference in Copenhagen Denmark. The private jet disappeared off the RADAR screen while making a slight detour. "Where am I," said Al on awakening? "Heaven" said the angelic choir. "You mean my private jet crashed?" said Al! "No yo...
Greenbelt MD: President Obama came to the headquarters of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) to explain his decision to put a new manned space flight program to the moon on hold. The president, via a C-SPAN TV hookup to all N...
Washington DC: Congressional Democrats have indicated that any new federal spending in the next three years will be based on the five sound economic concepts embodied in folklore and adages. House Speaker Pelosi comes out of the House Chamber look...
All the unintended nasty consequences of Prohibition that occurred in the "Roaring Twenties" have been relegated to US History, but their lessons of corruption, special interest groups and Congress ignoring the will of the people are lost on the curr...
A number of Hollywood stars have been advising President Obama how to reduce health care costs. The saneness of their advice is inversely proportional to the size of their campaign contributions to the Democratic Party and to President Obama's reelec...
San Francisco CA: SFPD vice officers raided a computer service center owned by a computer geek named Mr. Newsom. When the police first entered the shop they found Mr. Newsom was playing with a dongle. There were various sizes of used floppy's lay...
Washington DC: The World Linguists Organization (WLO) convention was overshadowed by the climate change convention held in Copenhagen DK and the Senate debate on health care reform at the US Capitol. Linguists from around the world met to discus...
Copenhagen DK: A noted Danish psychologist, Dr. Hans Bloomersjold, has theorized why the Danes are violently protesting outside the Climate Change Conference. Dr. Bloomersjold believes that the environmental fanatics who break windows and burn car...
Baltimore MD: Dr. Glory Hole graduated from Johns Hopkins University Medical School today, magna cum laude. The new doctor is the daughter of Arse and Donut Hole who immigrated to the US from East Germany in 1975 by escaping through a hole in the...
Washington DC: Congress and the president appear unable do anything about important issues such as the economy and jobs, thus requiring concentration on things that have little or no impact on most Americans. New legislation will allow the federal government to regulate thrill seeker activities, as follows: Skiing: Required to have parachutes in the ski boots and front and rear air bags Ligh...
On the twelfth day of Christmas (winter solstice), my true love sent to me Twelve drummers drumming, ($75 per drum courtesy of OPEC) Eleven pipers piping, (climate change is causing the sky to fall) Ten lords a-leaping, (a session of the US Senate or the House of Lords) Nine ladies dancing, (a TV program) Eight maids a-milking, (a PORN movie) Seven swans a-swimming, (protecte...
Washington DC: There is a great amount of "insurgency" in the "Golden State" as various groups prepare to do battle to preserve their way of life and/or involve themselves in other's lives. Troops are needed to keep illegal American immigrants fro...
Pizmo Beach Pennsyltucky: University PhD's try to correlate events with other events and then render an opinion as to whether any causality exists. No scientific method is required only an ideology, political or otherwise. Pennsyltucky University (PU) professors correlated the vacation destinations of Pizmo Beach's leading citizen Philbert of Macadamia. They found the following: 1. Fargo ND,...
Land of Oz: Republican laughter was heard throughout the castle in the evening, after the great house Democratic liberals screwed themselves royally by passing a scarlet tinged health bill. Empress Pelosi thought she was so politically astute at p...
Washington DC: A government spokesman announced today, that a race of mindless blood lusting alien creatures from deep space has infiltrated our earth from the rear. Noted proctologists from around the globe have been watching, as the Hemorrhoids...
Washington DC: The EPA Administrator has placed women between the ages of 25 to 50 years old on the agency's endangered species list (ESL). The EPA used the same logic that environmentalists used to get the Polar Bear placed on the ESL. While the...
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