Special US Envoy Elmer Fudd returned to the Capitol City after a short fact finding trip to the Middle East and beyond, sponsored by the US State Department. Elmer provided reporters his observations at a press conference, prior to communicating his thoughts to the Secretary of State.
Elmer indicated that during their four day whirl wind trip to the region, his band of junketeers visited Ejipt, Saute Awabia, Lemen, Pukestan, Ashcanistan, Iraqistan, Iranistan and Palestine. He confided that Palestine must be an Imaginary entity, as no Shiners wearing funny hats were seen anywhere!
The purpose of the trip was to view Awab culture and Islam close up, by meeting with religious leaders of the three major sects, namely Sunni, Shia and Taliban. Working meetings were scheduled with a few specific countries' exalted potentates, political leadership and street people. However, the visiting entourage found the Awab Street a little dusty and dirty for their tastes and the Iranistan Street littered with bodies.
The visitors had lunch with Kink Abdullah of Saute Awabia and Iranistans's Neopreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, but not on the same day nor in the same country. Iranistan's Precedent Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also joined the luncheon group. He is a little chap with a mustache, seemed to radiate a strange glow and reminded us all of Adolph Hitler. He kept saying we are Persimmons not Awabs.
Elmer confided he couldn't get any pork barbeque or a beer anywhere, only Hamas on Pita bread. The lack of a good brewski was surprising, as most of the visited countries were always getting bombed out of their minds.
A brief stop was made at Awab League headquarters to converse with representatives of nations we missed, but they only spoke Awabic! The reporters asked about OPEC and oil production, which Elmer confided was used to stop the group's diarrhea. It had been bad water, not oil that caused the malady.
When we left the region to fly home the various political leaders surrounded us and vigorously shouted our praises in Awabic. The religious leaders all issued Fartwahs in our honor! We did miss seeing Osama bin Laden, who was to meet us at the airport, but we were told he was off in a cave somewhere.
Elmer is determined to visit the rest of the Muslim world in East Asia, wondering why the Awabs and Persimmons won't issue him another visa, and the US State department won't give him a new passport.
