There was controversy-upon-controversy in Westminster this morning, when, after the UK Supreme Court ruled that Prime Minister Boris Johnson had acted unlawfully when he asked Her Majesty the Queen, on August 28, to suspend Parliament, the Queen, Her...
When Boris Johnson lied to the Queen about the prorogation of Parliament last week, and was then 'found out', it was the death knell for the egotistical, shock-headed prime minister who, if he'll lie to Her Majesty, cannot surely be trusted to tell...
After hearing cases for and against prorogation of the British Parliament, the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom has now ruled that Parliament be adjourned for the next forty years. The upcoming session is to commence on 1 April 2059. MPs were some...
Eton has raised twenty Prime Ministers including Boris Johnson. It has produced countless more posh open-mouthed shit-for-brains parasites, and, as such, has played a crucial role in destroying the myth of meritocracy in the UK for centuries. The...
Sitting, standing and ducking PM Boris Johnson has sensationally denied lying to the Queen over his reasons for suspending Parliament. Boris said: "In my life, I have lied to everyone I have ever met. I lie to my mum. I lie to my dad. I lie to my...
Leo Fitzmaurice, a six-year-old with a fascination for space travel and dinosaurs, doesn't like the two new boys in his class. Boris and Gavin, two older boys from nearby London, were in the school, and apparently taking the younger boys dinner mo...
It has been revealed, to us, exclusively that Boris Johnson has only got to where he is in politics because he is the only one with a van big enough to take the piano and the drum-kit. The news reaches us that in trying to avert the country's atte...
Boris Johnson, current PM and enchanted mop, has said that the leaders of the opposition parties “don’t trust the people”. He admitted he, himself, doesn’t trust the people either, but that’s by the by. Johnson, standing in the middle of a windswep...
They are calling Boris Johnson, a David Cameron with a spine, but without a brain. If the two could get together in a Vita-Mix and blend for three to five minutes, one still couldn’t produce a Winston Churchill. Adding a cigar and a brandy again woul...
"Panem et circenses", shouted the MP for Uxbridge and South Ruislip, Johnson. "Persuasion by games. That's what people want! And that's what they'll jolly well get...!" It appeared the PM was losing it when he placed a large box on the table in fr...
Ms. May is reported heavily engaged in rehearsals for the new opera, due to open in London October 31. At the same time, a melange of parliamentarians is re-thinking Mr. Johnson’s call for a new election. They suggest voters be offered the fol...
The political shenanigans being played by Prime Minister Boris Johnson, and the furore surrounding them which has led to some analysts to suggest an October General Election might be on the cards, could well benefit one party that has, until now, pro...
In a basement in Downing Street, Dominic Cummings sits at a desk swigging from a bottle of wine and smoking a cigarette. He is on the phone. "What's that? Shagger lost another vote? Fahkin' hell! "Sack the lot o' them! Shit, we need to get into...
Prime Minister, Boris Johnson took time off from driving the country nearer to destruction this afternoon, when he met with former EastEnders actress, Barbara Windsor, for a discussion on dementia. Introductions went well, but, during the meeting,...
Harry Maguire, the 26-year-old Manchester United centre-half, who became the costliest defender in the world when he signed for the Old Trafford club from Leicester City, has announced he will stand as an independent candidate against Boris Johnson i...
In an extraordinary impromptu press conference held outside 10 Downing Street just minutes ago, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has said that he doesn't want a snap General Election, Britain will leave the EU on 31 October, and that, without any shadow...
Downing Street is now the home of another furry four-legged hound who needs castration - besides Boris Johnson. The new prime minister has taken a break from ripping up UK democracy to get a pet dog. Dilyn is the name of the Jack Russell terrier.
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