To Infinity And Boris!

Written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 8 September 2019

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Boris Johnson, current PM and enchanted mop, has said that the leaders of the opposition parties “don’t trust the people”. He admitted he, himself, doesn’t trust the people either, but that’s by the by.
Johnson, standing in the middle of a windswept field after he’d been chased out a local village, said:

I am committed to enacting the will of the people and just getting on with delivering Brexit and taking away employment laws what, what? I will go back to Brussels tomorrow and demand that they give us the deal we deserve! Or maybe I’ll go back the day after or the day after that, maybe not even then. But soon.

Johnson, who is currently on a trip to Aberdeenshire, said it was rather “curious” that the leaders of the opposition parties didn’t want a general election, saying:

"It’s all a bit bally, wally, tally knackers, isn’t it? I thought that’s what they would have wanted? A good old dust up at the ballot boxes, what what? I want an election….no, I need an election, and my opponents haven’t got the big old British bulldog balls to get down in the trenches in case they get trench foot! Now let me tell you, indeed, during the Battle of Britain where was your Liberal Democrat? Where was your Green Party? Nowhere to be seen when the Luftwaffe filled our skies.

Of course none of this made any sense to any of the cows in the field.

Johnson had earlier said that he would “rather be dead in a ditch” than delay Brexit. Back and to the Left news knows what we’d rather see.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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