BBC Announces Christmas Paint-Drying Marathon

Funny story written by cadders

Tuesday, 22 December 2020

image for BBC Announces Christmas Paint-Drying Marathon
No Surprises there then

The BBC has released its plans for Christmas viewing, and, unlike other years which featured new cutting edge topical shows like 'Dad's Army', 'The Two Ronnies', and 'Are You Being Served?', this year they have plans for new experimental comedy.

The show will be broadcast live starting on Christmas Eve and will replace all the BBC's output for the foreseeable future.

Apart from 15 minutes during the Queen's Speech, all BBC programming will be replaced by the new show.

It will feature no plot, no actors, and absolutely no dialogue.

Instead, it will be a 24-hour live broadcast of the paint drying on a man's kitchen ceiling.

There will still be occasional rants from BBC newsreaders, but otherwise, will feature the action live, as and when it happens.

The budget for the show is estimated at over £34 billion, most of which will be spent on TV presenter fees, and critics have already branded it an outstanding success, even though it hasn't actually aired yet.

Rumours that a loud, irritating bald greengrocer will be making a guest appearance have yet to be confirmed, but are expected to be "unavoidable".

"Let's face it," said a BBC executive, "you have to pay for this shit anyway, so we can do whatever we want. Pay up plebs!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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