The first week of vaccine roll-out led to only 3,000 anaphylactic emergency responses out of some 80,000 injections.
This percentage is well within the 5% danger possibilities of the new vaccines.
The anaphylactic allergic response leads to fainting plus difficulty breathing, and requires emergency treatment, including a shot of epinephrine.
Intensive care in a hospital may be required.
Some hospitals have halted giving the Covid-19 injections to frontline workers, plus the CDC and the FBI are investigating these allergic reactions.
Caught up in this week's anaphylactic toll, however, was one celebrity that surprised everybody.
The story begins with Mr. Fauci on Sesame Street over the weekend as reported by RT News.
When children asked whether Santa could still deliver, what with all the lockdowns and stuff, Mr. Fauci responded:
“I took care of that for you, because I was worried that you’d all be upset. So what I did a little while ago, I took a trip up there to the North Pole. I went there, and I vaccinated Santa Claus myself. I measured his level of immunity, and he’s good to go.”
But inside sources indicate more to the story.
Mr. Fauci found Santa in his toy warehouse lying on a box that looked like a coffin--in case it might be needed.
"But what about all these stories about allergic reactions, father?" Santa asked, apparently confusing Mr. Fauci with a priest.
“Your chances are better by getting a shot,” Mr. Fauci told Santa.
"Well, by my math, father, the current death rate in the US is 1%--350 thousand deaths versus 350 million population. Those odds seem better."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, the odds of this allergic reaction or worse (and who knows about the long-range side effects) are 5% with this Pfizer vaccine."
"But the vaccine is a sure thing."
"At 95% effective only, father. Odds for not getting the thing in the first place are better at one percent!"
"Nonsense. Prepare your arm."
"Could we have a whiskey first?"
Whether whiskeys were had or not is unknown, but following the jab, Santa went anaphylactic--passed out, shuddering.
Fauci promptly hitched reindeers to Santa's sleigh, loaded the big man on, and headed for Emergency Vaccination and Resuscitation Services.
The US Congress has responded by adding funds to its new stimulus bill for the terrible economy due to the lockdowns.
Chimney deliveries will be delivered free by Amazon--to all households with Prime card subscription.
