Waiter Wants Lockdown To Go On Indefinitely

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 21 December 2020

image for Waiter Wants Lockdown To Go On Indefinitely
Skivvy ruing the day he took his job as a 'waiter'

A man who has been told to stay away from work due to attempts to stem the flow of the Coronavirus, has said he hopes the lockdown will last long enough for his employer to go into liquidation, so that he will be saved from going back to work.

Andrew Skivvy, 35, who works at La Dolce Eater in Queens, was the subject of an earlier report in these pages, in February of this year, at which time he said he was fed up of waiting, having spent 16 years in service.

Things have not improved for Skivvy, who had been back at work for two months, before being laid off again a week ago.

Married, with two young children, he knows that, even though he hates work with a rare passion, the capitalist society that we live in dictates that things must be paid for, with money, and to get money, we have to earn it.

Having worked as a waiter since he left school, however, and having had to put up with the behavior of many customers whose brains he would have liked to have bashed in, he's now at the end of his tether.

Despite this, he conceded, in a rare moment of clarity, that:

"I suppose I can be relied upon to put food on the table."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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