Russia Requests Military Assistance From China, Syria, Germany, (oops, Russia's mistake) And North Korea

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 14 March 2022

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From China, with love.

The request for Germany's military assistance was a pipe-dream mistake created by a Russian subordinate's intern who had a sense of humor. (And who has since fallen out of a 6th story window.)

Syria claims that they are fresh out of extra killing weapons and are fast trying to produce more killing weapons to use against their people. They couldn't possibly share any killing weapons with Russia. They apologized, adding better luck next time.

China said they were thinking about it. The United States said, "Thinking about it is not a good idea."

China replied, "We're just squeezing Putin a little bit. Like, let's say, throwing him a lifeline. Saying we'll get back to him in a few days. Putin's invasion should be surrendering by then. And we'll say, "Sorry, and we were just going to send some MRE's, made in China, of course."

North Korea? North Korea put Putin on hold. Sort of like China. But with no plans for any plans.

Why would Putin run out of military equipment? Did he expend all of his tactical wisdom on the length of that 90-foot dinner table? STRIKE!

Was that it? He was thinking BIG. He must have invaded the neighboring country with his fingers crossed, planning to install a new pro-Russian president and then scram.

But Putin underestimated the Ukrainian grit.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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