Mailman accused of sending turkey to an early Thanksgiving

Funny story written by Erickson 2

Thursday, 10 March 2022

image for Mailman accused of sending turkey to an early Thanksgiving
A group women were crying and protesting after his demise.

Quaker Press: A mail carrier in Albuquerque, New Mexico has been accused of fowl play after going postal on a wild turkey named Tommy.

The bird apparently accosted the letter carrier Monday, and started to interact with his leg, prompting him to grab a stick from his vehicle to tenderize the animal, Quaker Press reports, citing eyewitness accounts on social media app Nextdoor.

The accused mail carrier, Larry Shagbert said," I didn't think much about the crazy turkey until I saw secretions dripping down my leg and onto my new Brunello Cucinelli sock, my wife gave me for Christmas."

The incident has prompted a probe by California wildlife officials and the US Postal Service.

A group of neighborhood women, who adored Tommy's attention, were crying and protesting outside the post office after his demise.

It has been reported that children often lured Tommy into the woods to play with him. He was welled loved by the community.

We are currently launching a thorough investigation,” Jackie Lawson, a local USPS spokesperson told the outlet. “Our employees have had several altercations with frisky turkeys in the area, including a recent attack on a letter carrier who bent over to pick up a package.

“However, this allegation is alarming, and if true, is inexcusable,” Lawson added.

A biologist dispatched to the area back in October “observed four male turkeys actively, aggressively go after a mail carrier when he got out of his mail truck wearing tight shorts, "the turkey's have imprinted with human's believing people are part of their flock” said Department of Fish and Wildlife spokesman Capt. Cheery Paterson.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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