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"Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

Funny story: "Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...

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A Thanksgiving Editorial: In Praise of the Common Turkey

Funny story: A Thanksgiving Editorial: In Praise of the Common Turkey

As just about all educated people know, turkeys are among the smartest animals on the planet, perhaps in the galaxy. If they were mammals instead of birds, they would, in fact, be the smartest animals on the planet. (For some reason, known only to theoretical physicists, bird neural DNA seems to suffer from "leakage," also known as accelerated entropic seasoning syndrome. Because this is a hig...

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Turkish kebab restaurants in Holland go up in flames!

Funny story: Turkish kebab restaurants in Holland go up in flames!

Holland has forbidden Turks living in their country to protest about hygiene in their kebab, fast food outlets. It seems the Dutch authorities have discovered certain short-comings in high Dutch hygiene standards and many Turkish say, "this is normal...

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Moscow Mashup

Russian mafia boss Vladimir Putin has today declared that he is going to "fix" Turkey and Russia's relationship. He made the statement from a balcony overlooking thousands of Moscovites....Moscowellians....people in Moscow queuing up for a loaf of br...

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Putin vs Erdogan war of words escalates to showdown in downtown Baghdad at "Club Unspeakable"

Funny story: Putin vs Erdogan war of words escalates to showdown in downtown Baghdad at "Club Unspeakable"

The imbroglio between Russia and Turkey over shooting down a Russian warplane and ISIS oil trade through Turkey has led to a decisive confrontation in downtown Baghdad. The meeting took place at a nightclub which translates to "Club Unspeakable" (...

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White House Song and Dance Ensemble to perform the "Turkey is no turkey!" ballet at Christmas festivities

Funny story: White House Song and Dance Ensemble to perform the "Turkey is no turkey!" ballet at Christmas festivities

Reports are emerging that Mr. Obama has been busy in his off hours in White House recreation rooms producing and directing the "Turkey is no turkey!" Christmas ballet. The upcoming ballet is designed for conviviality, joy, getting White House duck...

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Abe the turkey rejects Obama's pardon

Funny story: Abe the turkey rejects Obama's pardon

Abe the Turkey, has rejected the president's yearly tradition of pardoning a turkey every thanksgiving. Reading from a prepared statement, Abe's attorney's Lorenzo De Pavo, explained that his client has no reason to accept a pardon because that woul...

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A Turkey downs Russian fighter

Funny story: A Turkey downs Russian fighter

Startled by Thanksgiving revelers, a turkey flew into a Russian fighter's engine, crashing the plane. Cranberry sauce was spilled inside the engine and gravy dripped on the pilot's shirt. The Russian pilot claims that the turkey had stealth capabi...

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Turkey elections are a turkey

From the newspaper, THE SAMOVAR GAZETTE, that brings you the latest news, and quickest, if not the most accurate. It has now been several days since the election that brought many surprises to the people of Turkey. President Recep Tayyip Erdoga...

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Sprouts Will Be Re-stocked In Time For Christmas - Supermarkets Claim

Funny story: Sprouts Will Be Re-stocked In Time For Christmas - Supermarkets Claim

Housewives hoarding brussels sprouts and those small sausages to put around turkeys for Christmas have caused panic buying, with major stores claiming that there will not be enough for every shopper if people greedily buy up the stocks now. Groups...

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Major Stores Reach Agreement On Cathedral And Church Use

Funny story: Major Stores Reach Agreement On Cathedral And Church Use

Several well known stores with high profile T.V. Christmas advertisements have reached agreement with bishops in the U.K. to utilise the huge amounts of prime City Centre Cathedral and Church interior and exterior space. Worshippers will be able to...

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Secret Recording of Pope's Conversation Released

Funny story: Secret Recording of Pope's Conversation Released

A tape recording of a private conversation between President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and visiting Pope Francis has been smuggled out of Turkey. Released on the internet only last night, it is already causing severe embarrassment to all concerned. Th...

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At the Kobani border with Erdogan and Clarence Willnotlie standing by

Funny story: At the Kobani border with Erdogan and Clarence Willnotlie standing by

So! Back then I went out the comfort room window of that club in Mosul, moving on, as we like to say, and I thank all of you who tweeted me at that time on what to do! Of course I ended up where the action is across from Kobani, then was snatched by the Turks into Erdogan's tent. Yes, in case you're still wondering, this is Pepe Warezabar aka "Clarence Willnotlie." I know, I know. I have...

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Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

Funny story: Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

The startling John Cantlie video from Kobani just posted by ISIS has been answered from across the border in Turkey by a new video featuring a reporter named Clarence Willnotlie. Analysts suspect this new "reporter" may not be a hostage under any...

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Obama Coalition Against ISIS Is A Farce

Funny story: Obama Coalition Against ISIS Is A Farce

As ISIS fighters seemed ready to take the town of Kobani on the Turkish border, Kurdish opposition said they were running out of ammunition. "Gee, that's too bad," said U.S. Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hegel. " I guess President Obama's coaliti...

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Of Tweets, Rights and Censorship

It was a dark day for freedom of LOLs, inanity and poor spelling in the Grand Kingdom of Turkey following the shocking exposure of an apparent block on Twitter service - thought by many to be a basic human right - by the Council of Dark Scary Overlor...

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Electronic turkeys on sale in Walmart stores to help quit Christmas dinners

Funny story: Electronic turkeys on sale in Walmart stores to help quit Christmas dinners

Buying "just one more" turkey because you know you will quit next week or slipping another turkey into your grocery basket at the superstore? Remarkably realistic electronic turkeys are now on sale to help with post-Christmas or Thanksgiving addi...

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Police planning roadside Turkey checks

Funny story: Police planning roadside Turkey checks

Police are planning a zero tolerance campaign to catch people out who have had a turkey dinner after the official deadline of midnight on January 6th. Highly accurate Turkelyzer kits have been ordered by police forces throughout the U.K. The kits...

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Breaking news…

Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned

Kim told Cosby he would have to get in line behind Robert Mueller, Suge Knight, and Jared Folger.
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