WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz reports that Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell surprised his BFF and part-time boyfriend Donald Johnny Trump with a very appropriate birthday gift.
McConnell, who looks like a cross between a Galapagos turtle and woodchuck droppings, gave the man of his dreams a case of industrial size XXX Depends Diapers.
The senator who is 79, but looks 99, pointed out to the news media that the butt covers come in four vibrant personal colors; tangerine orange, carrot orange, cantaloupe orange, and orange orange.
When asked what Trump said when he opened up his gift and saw the adult diapers, McConnell replied that he said thank you and that he had been running low so he really needed them bad.
Meanwhile, Marjorie Taylor Greene gave Trump a pair of her size 18 panties with her private cell phone number sewed into the crotch region.
And North Korean President Kim Jong-un gave the Trumpster a 100 pound bag of organic rice and a book titled, "How To Stop Lying In 13 Short Lessons."
SIDENOTE: A source very close to the presidential loser said that for his birthday, his alleged side-piece, Hope Hicks gave him an ultimatum. Quoting, "Divorce Melania by Labor Day or my stunningly sensuous ass is gone, and you will never, again get to experience the amazingly amazing experience of caressing it."