ALBANY, New York – (Satire News) –The attorney general of New York has stated that Donald J. Trump illegally borrowed over $31 million from three sources.
Records that were provided by Trump’s long-time lawyer Michael Cohen, the man who even knows more about DJT than Trump knows about himself, clearly show Russian President Vladimir Putin lending him $16 million on Martin Luther King Jr’s, birthday in 2017.
North Korean President Kim Jong-un allegedly lent Trump a little over $15 million in 2018, when the two met down at Senor Frog’s Cantina in Cancun, Mexico.
And Scott Baio, who starred in such classic sit-coms as “Happy Days,” “Happier Nights,” and the short-lived, “Chachi Knocks Up Joanie” is said to have lent the former president $3,000 at Ivanka's 37th birthday party in 2019.
When Boom Boom News asked the Trumpster about the three loans he shrugged his shoulders and said that he has never met Putin, Kim Jong-un, or Scott Baio.
England's Ta Ta For Now News is reporting that Kimberly Guilfoyle is seriously considering breaking up With Donald Trump Jr., because of his weird-as-hell shaped pee-pee.