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Funny satire stories about Mitch McConnell

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Funny story: Trump Candidates Failing

Trump Candidates Failing

Donald Trump's handpicked candidates to run against Republicans who voted to impeach him are not doing well. Mitch McConnell is nervous: "We'll be lucky to just lose our pants and maybe keep our hats at the 2022 mid-term election. We'll never win…

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Funny story: Searing Heat, What Searing Heat? - Mitch McConnell's Reply to Biden's Climate Speech

Searing Heat, What Searing Heat? - Mitch McConnell's Reply to Biden's Climate Speech

President Biden Gave a speech in Massachusetts about the huge Climate Crisis we are in, since Congress is doing nothing about Global Warming. Mitch McConnell, in his big, airconditioned office, was glad to give a response interview: Searing…

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Funny story: Mitch McConnell is Death Warmed-Over

Mitch McConnell is Death Warmed-Over

Death came to town the other day, and I got an exclusive interview with him/her/it. “So Death, is Mitch McConnell really you in disguise?” Death laughed. The Earth shook. I peed myself a little bit. I was afraid to ask another question, but…

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Funny story: Mitch McConnell Uncovers Truth of Guns Carried by George Washington

Mitch McConnell Uncovers Truth of Guns Carried by George Washington

Mitch McConnell, after much research, has revealed that George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin, all their lives, carried concealed loaded flintlock pistols in their pants, and had advanced, specially made, multiply firing muskets i…

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Funny story: Mitch McConnell Denies That He Owns a Ku Klux Klan Hood and Robe

Mitch McConnell Denies That He Owns a Ku Klux Klan Hood and Robe

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Senate minority leader Mitch “The Moscow Bitch” McConnell was recently asked about the widespread rumor that he owns an official KKK hood and robe. McConnell almost choked on the slice of Pizza Hut pepperoni pizz…

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Funny story: Mitch McConnell Tells Donald Trump To Grow Some Balls and Stop Acting Like a Spoiled Two-Year-Old!

Mitch McConnell Tells Donald Trump To Grow Some Balls and Stop Acting Like a Spoiled Two-Year-Old!

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Speaker of the Senate, Mitch McConnell has surprised the members of the Republican party, with his most recent comment regarding the man who many say is headed to the “Big House” (prison). McConnell, aka “Turtle…

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Funny story: The Kremlin is Reporting That Putin Has Blocked Trump

The Kremlin is Reporting That Putin Has Blocked Trump

MOSCOW – (Satire News) – Word coming out of the Kremlin states that Russian President Vladimir Putin has just gone into his Facebook account and blocked the one-term, twice-impeached, former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Donald Trump. Repo…

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Funny story: Mitch McConnell is Suing The Makers of a Viagra-Like Pill, Up Up & Away!

Mitch McConnell is Suing The Makers of a Viagra-Like Pill, Up Up & Away!

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Alpha Beta News Agency has just confirmed that Senator Mitch “Turtle Face” McConnell has just filed a lawsuit against the makers of the penis hardening, Viagra-like pill, Up, Up, and Away. The lawsuit claims…

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Funny story: Donald Trump Takes a Horrible Fall at a Golf Course and Badly Injures His Tongue

Donald Trump Takes a Horrible Fall at a Golf Course and Badly Injures His Tongue

KISSIMMEE, Florida – (Satire News) – The Miami Globe-Gazette is reporting that Donald Trump was on the 13th hole at The General Robert E. Lee Golf Course in Kissimmee, Florida, when he, for no apparent reason, stumbled and landed on his face. Memb…

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Funny story: Marjorie Taylor Greene Is Pregnant?!

Marjorie Taylor Greene Is Pregnant?!

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Tucker Carlson and Maria Bartiromo are both reporting that the most disruptive individual to ever set foot in D.C. is with child. Carlson said that he heard it from Sean Hannity, who heard it from Ann Coulter, wh…

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Funny story: Trump Says He Hates Mitch McConnell and Bill Barr More Than He Hates His Hemorrhoids

Trump Says He Hates Mitch McConnell and Bill Barr More Than He Hates His Hemorrhoids

NORWEGIAN WOOD, Kentucky – (Satire News) – Donald Trump spoke before a crowd of 17, in the parking lot of the local Walmart. He told the crowd of shoppers that he will never ride off into the sunset the way losers like Marco Rubio, Carly Fiorina,…

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Funny story: Mrs. Mitch McConnell Has Had It With Mitch And She Wants a Divorce Pronto!

Mrs. Mitch McConnell Has Had It With Mitch And She Wants a Divorce Pronto!

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind and The Washington Globe-Express are both reporting that the wife of Senator Mitch McConnell, Elaine Chao, is totally fed up with her husband’s political antics and shady shenanigans and she w…

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Funny story: Mitch McConnell’s Birthday Gift To Donald J. Trump Will Surprise You

Mitch McConnell’s Birthday Gift To Donald J. Trump Will Surprise You

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz reports that Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell surprised his BFF and part-time boyfriend Donald Johnny Trump with a very appropriate birthday gift. McConnell, who looks like a cross between a Galapagos turtle…

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Funny story: Vice-President Kamala Harris Says That The Turncoat, Traitor Senator Joe Manchin Needs To Stop Acting Like a Pu$$y and Resign

Vice-President Kamala Harris Says That The Turncoat, Traitor Senator Joe Manchin Needs To Stop Acting Like a Pu$$y and Resign

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News is reporting that Vice-President Harris has more cojones than Joe Manchin, Mitch McConnell, Matt Gaetz, and Kevin McCarthy combined. Nancy Pelosi and Ricky Gervais totally agree with that statemen…

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Funny story: What January 6th Insurrection?

What January 6th Insurrection?

January 6th insurrection? Huh? The Republican minority leader of the House Kevin McCarthy asks, "What January 6th insurrection at the Capitol?" Do you mean that little get-together of about 5,000 folks breaking into the Capitol, smashing windo…

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Funny story: GOP making whoopee !!

GOP making whoopee !!

Though impeachment proceedings loom, the outcome is already known, and Republicans are planning quite a show. No point spending money on external shysters when events warrant a jubilant internal shindig on the part of the GOP. They're sure not gonna…

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Funny story: My Pillow To Go Bankrupt Because of It’s Asshole CEO Michael Lindell

My Pillow To Go Bankrupt Because of It’s Asshole CEO Michael Lindell

CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind has just announced that Michael Lindell, CEO of the My Pillow Corporation, and man who would marry Donald Trump in a nano-second, is standing in deep dodo, as they say down in Arkansas. Lindell, who…

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