PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz reports that citizen Donald Johnny Trump had a 75th birthday bash to end all birthday bashes at his Mar-a-Lago digs.
BuzzFuzz reporter, Taffeta Kixx, remarked that she was the only Democrat invited to one of the biggest parties in the history of The Plywood State.
Miss Kixx, who was a former Miss Louisiana, as well as a bikini swimsuit model, said that she felt very uncomfortable at the 27-second super-tight hug that Trump gave her.
She noted that she isn’t 100% sure, but she does believe that she felt a bit of a stirring in the birthday boy’s crotch region.
The 3,704 guests were treated to a gamut of imported food which included escargot from Paris, sushi from Tokyo, tofu from Shanghi, sprouts from Brussels, nuts from Brazil, and Big Macs from Brooklyn.
Melania Trump looked semi-pretty dressed as Captain America, and Donaldo looked freaky-as-hell dressed as Spider Woman.
Meanwhile, Eric wore a MAGA T-shirt and Daisy Duke short shorts. His on-going girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle was dressed as Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Miss Kixx commented that the love of Trump’s life, Ivanka was dressed as Little Bo Peep, complete with a diamond-encrusted staff and two miniature sheep that she said she rented from Pets ‘R” Us.
Music was provided by Trump’s second favorite musical group, The Trumpapalooza Ass Kickin’ Band. They played such crowd favorites as “The Wonderfully Wonderous World of Witchcraft,” “The Ballad of The Hanky Panky Hoax,” and Melania’s personal favorite, “The Be Best Blues.”
Miss Kixx revealed that DJT’s favorite band is The Rolling Stones.