What’s up with Rudy Giuliani's head? Somebody please help!

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Wednesday, 19 May 2021

image for What’s up with Rudy Giuliani's head? Somebody please help!
Isn't it obvious something is wrong here? Rudy's cranium is growing like a watermelon on steroids

Many people have been asking the question but no answer is yet forthcoming: Is there something wrong with Rudy Giuliani’s head?

If the answer somehow happens to be “No”, you’d need to rephrase the question to something like: What in the HELL is wrong with Rudy Giuliani’s head?!! — It’s become grotesquely oversized and seems to be getting bigger every time I see him.

If you were around and recall the 80s you should remember the young version of Rudy. He seemed almost normally proportioned. If you saw him on TV, maybe you’d think his head was a bit large, but that’s about it. But you look at that same head today, and you’re surely doing the Ricky Ricardo; “somebody’s got some ’splaining to do!”

Is anyone worried about this? It doesn’t seem like it to me. This is where we get into some hard facts. It’s a cold cruel world out there and people just don't care - it sure seems like no one is left who gives a hoot about Rudy.

But we need to consider this: Rudy is just another human being - on paper at least, with feelings and emotions; a range of everyday problems, etc.

Plus he’s an old man with old man problems. If you’re young forget about it*. You have no idea. But take my word for it, at his age and in his condition, he’s a dead man. And to that you can add sexless, limp, joyless, confused and, in Rudy’s case, clueless. It’s ugly.

Bottom line is, the guy is a nuisance. Worse than that, a grotesque nuisance.

And so it seems no one gives enough of a crap to care about what might be wrong with the guy. People must see the problem but just keep hoping he’ll go away. Maybe he will but what about the giant squash that he balances topside?

Is there a doctor in the house? Time to step up.

*this is the Guido version of the phrase "forget about it"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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