Many people have been asking the question but no answer is yet forthcoming: Is there something wrong with Rudy Giuliani’s head? If the answer somehow happens to be “No”, you’d need to rephrase the question to something like: What in the HELL is w…
(NOT EDITED) Innocent, South American footy players, earning their dosh in the UK, are mostly unaware of ultra-sensitive Brits, willing to pounce on anything they do, or say, without even understanding a single thing about South American cultures, tr…
Fiery, intense, outspoken, and controversial are just a few of the adjectives that describe freshman congressional representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Does she represent a new advantage for the Democrats, or, instead, is she dangerous for the pa...
It's been revealed by sources close to the game, that the traditional start to the football season may be delayed by "as much as two weeks" due, it's claimed, to "circumstances beyond our control". It's not yet clear what the circumstances are tha...
The daily onslaught against the myth of evolution has taken another crushing blow. Tiny frogs have been discovered in amber, looking very much like modern day frogs. The only snag is, that these ancient amber amphibians are claimed to be 99 millio...
A family is cleared by Child Protective Services after an investigation that was triggered by the name they gave their newborn. Hospital staff felt the name was unnecessarily stigmatizing, if not outright abusive. The father, Gafdkljk Xygadasf, sa...
Chepenseki, TENN.-- Local morons , Roy and Teri Rosheen, have had yet another child. According to local sources, the couple plans on naming the creation something "unique" like "Unique" or "Randy". The precious and soon to be dimwitted child is t...
Since the Prime Minister David Cameron stated this week, that: 'if we lost Scotland, it would rip a rug from under the UK's reputation', Scottish and English philosopers and linguistic scholars alike have been in a frantic race to divine the meaning...
Idiots worldwide are today celebrating the latest stupid theory involving the myth of evolution. According to Professor Michael Coates, a biologist at the University of Chicago, the human lineage can be traced back to a primitive fish named Acanth...
Another selection from the fruitful harvest of Lear's Dorking years A deluded young vicar of Dorking Put a hen on his arm to go hawking. Though he hawked day and night, The prey simply took fright At the hen's dreadful flapping and squawking. A Mole Valley farmer one day Resolved he would live upon hay, So he sat on a cow And repeated his vow, Saying 'here with the catt...
The riddle of how our ancestors 'evolved' from moving on all fours to being bipedal has at last not been answered. A recent study, where 'evolution scientits' (not a spelling mistake)spent 14 months on holiday in Guinea, West Africa concluded that...
The discovery of yet another new species has also unearthed a frank admission from Earth science manager at Jurrasic coast heritage park, Richard Edmonds. Apparently the fossil record is far from complete. This will no doubt surprise the evolution...
Dear Sir, I note that Paddington Bear will appear at Dalemain country house near Ullswater on the 25th and 26th of February, where he will visit The World's Original Marmalade Awards & Festival. He won't, though, not really. Because he doesn't actually exist, does he? Some soft-headed twerp buys his idiotic wife a teddy bear, then decides to write a book about an imaginary bear. It t...
Evolution buffs are today mourning the death of the fabled 'hydrothermal vent' theory for the origins of life. It was mused among eccentrics that somehow, life began in these mystical vents all by itself, millions of years ago. However, Professor...
The elusive Higgs Boson - the theorised particle which inspired a 10 billion pound hole in the ground has been found. Well so the BBC would have you believe. The BBC, famed for producing misleading 'factual' programming claims to have photographed...
Evolution has been dealt another awkward blow as a species claimed to be some 200 million years old, has been found, and unevolved! Protoanguilla palau, as the species has been named, has alledgedly survived for 200 million years because its envir...
Research by boffins at a top university has resolved an ages-old conundrum: who are nonsense people? Science suggests they are a small group descended from Italian immigrants living in a remote village in the heart of Wales. A large team of soc...
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