BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – Trump’s ex-lawyer and now ex-friend, has informed the news media that the disgraced president borrowed $27.7 million from the Russian president.
Giuliani is facing up to 41 years in prison for countless charges, ranging from laundering stolen gold bars from Fort Knox, to cavorting with a known D.C. whore, who has allegedly slept with at least 14 senators; including two females.
When asked by iRumors, Rudy, a man who is so effen ugly he makes Mitch McConnell look pretty, revealed that he personally brokered the loan from Vlady.
Giuliani went on to say that he traveled to Russia on board Air Force One, and met Putin at a local McDonalds kiosk located next door to the Kremlin.
He and Putin exchanged pleasantries, such as the increase in the price of Russian salad dressing, the New York Yankees bullpen, and the size of Ivanka’s store-bought tits.
He was then given three military duffle bags that contained $27.7 million in twenty-dollar bills.
When President Biden learned of the transaction, he simply remarked to the assembled media, “Look fellas, if it looks like Trump compromised himself, and if it smells like Trump compromised himself, then, by crackies, Trump compromised himself, and the lying bitch needs to go to prison!”
