WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Baltimore’s Eye-Spectator Channel 69, is reporting that security cameras caught an ugly-as-hell woman carrying a paint gun and a bag of thumb tacks, working her way into the Senate chamber on January 6.
Upon close inspection, it turned out that the ugly-as-shit woman, turned out to be none other than Trump’s all-time ass-kisser Rudy Giuliani, aka The Swamp Creature.
Giuliani denies that it was him, and remarked that at the time that Trump’s Army of Anarchists was invading the USA, he was having dinner at a Brooklyn Burger Bandit Restaurant, with Laura Ingraham of Fox News.
But a security camera expert, swears that it’s definitely Giuliani in the video, because of his huge ping pong ball-sized eyes, his missing upper lip, and the freaky way that all of a sudden when he starts to lie, his ping-pong ball-sized eyes turn into tennis ball-sized eyes.
A United States attorney says that fruity Rudy is in a world of trouble, as he could be disbarred, fined $275,000, and be sentenced to Sing Sing Federal Prison for up to 28 years.
Meanwhile, President Trump has told CNN's Anderson Cooper that Rudy was with him at the time of the home-grown terrorist invasion, and both were hiding like two little pussies in the White House bunker.