Dr. Scott Atlas Awarded (MOTLY) Man of the Latest Year by NFDMA

Funny story written by KRS

Wednesday, 18 November 2020

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Dr. Scott Atlas named “Man of the Year”

November 18th, 2020

White House Coronavirus Task Force MIC (Mountebank-in-Chief) Dr. Scott Atlas has just been named “Man of the Year” by the NFDMA (National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association) President, Joseph Mengele III.

Mr. Mengele told reporters “Dr. Scott Atlas has singlehandedly rejuvenated our industry - the financial outlook was bleak in late Spring 2020, as cities and states began to bend the Covid-19 case count curve. The service sector of our economy was in dire straights until Scott Atlas entered the picture, displacing economy busters like Drs. Fauci, Osterholm, and Hotez, in favor of a national policy directed by the White House to migrate towards herd mentality. Dr. Atlas courageously recommended people go to restaurants, support local taverns, play bingo and Twister, have large hot tub parties, enjoy casinos, fly, and book cruises just as they would at any other time. As a great American patriot, Dr. Atlas has vigorously advocated citizens resist all efforts by elected officials to abridge civil rights with unlawful, baseless mandates to wear masks in public or avoid attending World Wrestling Federation Smackdowns in person. Citizens across the country have embraced a renewed nationalism, marching on statehouses and city halls openly brandishing firearms, while demanding responsible adherence to free-market policies and personal civil liberties unparalleled since Charles Lindberg’s America 1st Movement in the early 1940s.”

Dr. Scott Atlas will be installed as “Man of the Year” at the 20,000-member NFDMA national convention in Las Vegas from December 31st through January 3rd, 2021. Along with the coveted accolade, a tax-exempt $1,000,000 honorarium to the President Donald J. Trump Defense of America Fund has been funded in Dr. Scott Atlas’ name by Sheldon Adelson, CEO of the Las Vegas Sands empire.

Dr. Atlas was asked to comment as he departed a Fox News program this past Sunday, where he championed the cause. Families should gather and celebrate the ritual American festivities of Thanksgiving this year, just as they have done since Plymouth Rock, because, “This may be your last Thanksgiving together!” Dr. Atlas told this reporter he is deeply humbled by the NFDMA acknowledgment and high praise for his efforts on behalf of the White House and our newly re-elected President, Donald Trump.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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