WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – It’s no secret to anyone who watches television that President Trump has divorced Fox News.
The two used to be passionate bedmates until Fox stopped giving Trump the hot-and-heavy lascivious love he needed and demanded.
Trump made it a point, everyday, to grab the Foxettes by the pus*y. And everyone was happy. The linguistic libido flowed like the Mississippi River.
The two showed tons of PDA toward each other. Millions of adults had to turn away, because it was just downright embarrassing to watch the two playing tongue-hockey before the American public.
And then, all of a sudden, out of leftfield, Foxy stopped kissing King Donaldo's ass. They stopped feeding his mammoth ego, and the ruler felt betrayed, cheated on, and abandoned.
And now, Emperor Trump the Chump is thrilled that millions of his base (aka Trumpers) are leaving Fox News and heading over to Trump's favorite place, Newsmax.
The man who thought he was Casanova, found out that, to Foxians, he was just another Lindsey "Plain Jane" Graham, but without the swish and sway.
And POTUS could not stand being rejected. No one has ever rejected him, because being famous he can grab any vagina he wants - just as long as it’s a Republican vagina.
And that’s because if he ever even remotely comes close to even trying to grab a Democrat female, he’ll get his two little marbles kicked so hard, they’ll end up sitting on top of his molars.