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Funny satire stories about Pandemic

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Funny story: And Godd Tweets Too

And Godd Tweets Too

On Wednesday, President Trump addressed the nation from the Oval Office. The eleven-minute speech, haltingly read from a teleprompter as if he was totally unfamiliar with the content and, to a lesser degree, the English language, is being referred to…

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Funny story: Food Shortages Loom, As No Chicken For Sale At Market

Food Shortages Loom, As No Chicken For Sale At Market

The Coronavirus has had many effects on our daily lives: we can't go to work; businesses are failing; we have to distance ourselves from others; we have to wear facemasks; and, we have to queue at supermarkets. When we get into the supermarkets, h…

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Funny story: New Corona Symptom: Severe Hunger For Bats?

New Corona Symptom: Severe Hunger For Bats?

Atlanta, GA - On Tuesday, scientists at the CDC announced an array of new symptoms that may occur during a COVID-19 infection. The researchers warned that a runny nose, sore throat and congestion are being added to the list of misery that comes wi…

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Funny story: A Pandemic Christmas Letter

A Pandemic Christmas Letter

Dear _________________. Happy Quarantine, Everyone! Harriet and I trust that you loved reading the McSweeney Christmas Letter-2019 as much as we loved writing it, and we hope you got every single page. Some of the 137 people we sent it to only...

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Funny story: Piracy thrives during pandemic

Piracy thrives during pandemic

Piracy of the high street has been the scourge of Britain for centuries, but has been dying out for many years. However, in 2020, it is making a comeback, thanks to the economic devastation and empty streets caused by coronavirus. Geoff Brownbeard...

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Funny story: Trump Sends Aid To Help Bangladesh With Massive Floods: Entire World Population Faints

Trump Sends Aid To Help Bangladesh With Massive Floods: Entire World Population Faints

Donald Trump today had the equivalency of a stroke, only it came out as empathy in the form of an Executive Order. He authorized 33 billion dollars in relief aid to Bangladesh. He then ordered all nearby naval ships to assist in evacuating as many Ho…

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Funny story: Pandemic Rhapsody (with apologies to Queen)

Pandemic Rhapsody (with apologies to Queen)

Is this the real life? Is this a bad nightmare? Caught in a clusterfuck, no escape from reality Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see He’s just a con man, he needs no sympathy Because he’s easy come, easy go, little nuts, always slow Any...

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Funny story: Donald Trump Diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder

Donald Trump Diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder

Washington, DC—President Donald Trump was admitted to Walter Reed Hospital on Wednesday, and has been diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder, the symptoms of which include an orange, puffy face, a predilection to sit on the toilet a...

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Funny story: Human resources department institutes epic ass-covering measures in response to pandemic

Human resources department institutes epic ass-covering measures in response to pandemic

Essential worker, Ben, was slightly taken aback one morning when he attempted to log on to his work computer and was greeted with a series of statements with which he had to agree before completing log-in. “It said things like, 'I’ve not had a fev...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Thinks World Is Upside-Down but Respects that World Doesn't Care What He Thinks

Nashville Man Thinks World Is Upside-Down but Respects that World Doesn't Care What He Thinks

Witnessing comedy clubs implementing contactless temperature-monitoring of guests and people going for their daily jog in face masks, all in the name of curbing the spread of a disease comparable in severity to the flu, Nate Parker of Nashville, Tenn...

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Funny story: Coronavirus: Things We Should Expect To Happen Next

Coronavirus: Things We Should Expect To Happen Next

The Coronavirus, COVID-19, is said to have surfaced in Wuhan, China, in January this year, but French scientists claim that patients on whom they ran tests in November 2019, were already carrying the virus. So far, we know very little about it as...

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Funny story: Politically Correct Woman (Almost) Uses Pandemic as Excuse Not to Reuse Plastic Bag

Politically Correct Woman (Almost) Uses Pandemic as Excuse Not to Reuse Plastic Bag

In the course of discarding the rinds of a watermelon she'd chopped up for consumption throughout the rest of the week, Polly Parker of Nashville, Tennessee, almost used the COVID-19 pandemic as an excuse not to reuse a several-year-old plastic groce...

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Funny story: Sears Employees Unaware of Pandemic Stay at Home Order

Sears Employees Unaware of Pandemic Stay at Home Order

(Williston, ND). Like Japanese soldiers holding out on remote islands after WWII, Sears employees in this sleepy North Dakota town were surprised to learn that their community was under a stay at home order, and has been for the past eight weeks. We...

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Funny story: Americans Attempting to Speak Truth to Power Hindered by State-Mandated Face Masks

Americans Attempting to Speak Truth to Power Hindered by State-Mandated Face Masks

Troubled by the infringement of civil liberties imposed in the name of curbing the spread of COVID-19, Americans seeking to speak truth to power have been hindered by the presence of their State-mandated face masks. “There's been an unprecedented...

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Funny story: Hemorrhoids Cases On The Rise, As Folks Sitting Around On Their Arses All Day Long

Hemorrhoids Cases On The Rise, As Folks Sitting Around On Their Arses All Day Long

Hemorrhoids, or 'piles' as they are more lovingly known, are on the increase, it's been claimed, and it's all down to the excessive amount of lounging around people are doing during the lockdown for the deadly Coronavirus. Hemorrhoids - sometimes...

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Funny story: Americans Confused as to whether Getting Coronavirus Is Good or Bad

Americans Confused as to whether Getting Coronavirus Is Good or Bad

Many Americans are confused as to what fate awaits them if they become infected with the coronavirus and then recover. Will they be a pariah or superhuman? Hero or social outcast? Gasping for air or immune for life? “If I find out I’ve had it, wi...

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Funny story: CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

Based on consultations with mathematical experts, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has determined that the successful “flattening of the curve” of coronavirus infections has resulted in a line extending into infinity, meaning that the C...

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