Why doesn't Pakistan start with Rich Saudi Arabia and Rich Kuwait who are pumping all the oil causing Global Warming? And by the way - these Rich Islamic countries have given no Aid during the huge floods currently covering Pakistan. Iran a…
And not soon enough! In coming years, scientists report that sea levels will rise just enough to drown every city on Earth that’s close to a major waterway. Finally, all those land-locked countries will become prime real estate! Hello, Chad,…
(NOT EDITED) Due to heavy rains bombarding certain parts of Germany strange occurrences have been spotted on a motorway between Cologne and Bonn. The motorway runs parallel to the River Rhine, and although flood-barriers have been erected, the Rhine…
Environment Minister for Floods, Noah Zark, says, “It’s not building new houses and concreting over everything that creates floods, you know. It’s the rain.” Developers and major builders, worried about a recession in their industry, have urged th…
The current administration has come up with yet another brilliant idea, in its string of brilliant ideas, regarding dealing with national emergencies and disasters. This time, it’s an ingenious concept of solving the problem of Colorado wildfires.
A woman motorcyclist who was taking her husband to work during flooding caused by several days of torrential rain, suffered the misfortune of being thrown from the vehicle when an unseen pothole in the road almost swallowed it whole, and left the cou…
British award-winning freestyle rapper, Stormzy, is at a crossroads in his career this morning, after the second major extreme weather incident in two weeks battered the UK into submission under a torrent of rain, high winds and floods, leaving the s...
UPDATE: CALFISH is now evacuating the Salmon from below the Damn. According to spokes-fish Hal A. Bight, the fish, and their human worshippers, are stealthily exiting for high ground. “We like water, but a 100-foot wall of it moving at seventy-...
Ready for anything minister, Liz Rupture has said she can make a much better job of dealing with floods, horsemeat in burgers, badger issues, tsunamis, volcanoes, meteors, earthquakes and students than her sacked predecessor. "also after working for...
The world got a taste of this back in the late 1990s but this time it could be a lot worse with a severe drought in some areas and flooding in others. Add this to the worldwide sudden increase of earthquakes and it could take people's minds off el...
The government are to spend a billion pounds in studying the causes of the recent floods which hit the UK this winter. With the fallout still lapping at the feet of every hard working Brit, the Environment Agency still blame the Government and the...
Boris Karloff Johnson, the Mayor of London is to cover London and the Home Counties with 4 metres of snow on Monday with a M.O.D. atomic snow bomb. On looking through the accounts it was found that there was a 10 billion pounds surplus which must be...
In a move of breathtaking brilliance, the Community Secretary Eric Pickles today put down his pie and announced the initiative to save the Thames Valley from further flood damage. 'The Environment Agency will henceforth direct their hoses down the...
Fast track turkey breeding is taking place in government buildings throughout the U.K for an extra Christmas on the 25th of June. The Chancellor yesterday patronisingly announced the additional Yuletide as a reward to everyone for putting up with t...
Audi's latest model for the home counties and South of England is bound to make something of a splash when it hits the shores next November. "This car is something to behold," said Jeremy Clarkson in a pompous voice. "It is seriously cool," sai...
Twelve container loads of Large White Sharks have been released into the Somerset flood regions by conservationists. I spoke with an environment spokesperson who explained their actions: "These animals are natural clean up agents and will do a lo...
Somerset is to become a new Boat Plane airport, making the new Heathrow terminal redundant. The new terminal will be flooded and made into a water park instead, an Environment comedian announced this morning. A Newt enthusiast told our report...
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