There were whoops of joy from the membership of the "Conservative & Unionist" party (male and white, average age 57) today as Transport Secretary Chris Grayling threw his hat into the ever-expanding ring. "He's just what we need to open up the...
President Donald Trump has indicated at a meeting with Republican colleagues, that, as a way of solving problems in the employment sector, he "would not totally oppose" the idea of a return to slavery on a limited scale. The news had an earth-shat...
Tragedy occurred in Lower Upper Middle Poppleton on Gastric By The Bypass as a parade to commemorate the 1956 tractor disaster ended in disaster. Back and to the Left news investigates......at the end of this sentence....from here.... In 1956 fort...
With the peak of the summer season, the heat and humidity have locals concerned about the effect that local thunder-thighs have on the well-being of their neighborhood. As shorts get shorter, and tops become more cropped, it leaves much more room fo...
Cape Canaveral, Florida - Disaster has struck a supply ship servicing the International Space Station completely destroying the vital payload that included one year's supply of toilet rolls. Elon Musk's SpaceX rocket exploded on liftoff vaporisin...
The Cosmos - A dead Russian supply ship called Progress 69 is hurtling out of control somewhere in the stratosphere ahead of an imminent crash landing on planet Earth tomorrow. And everybody could be affected. Scientists at Moscow's Bigears Sp...
Syria - Leaders of the wannabe caliphate are threatening to sue a dead GermanThings Airline pilot for stealing the limelight with his harakiri plunge. Jihadi top brass are claiming sole global copyright on nutjob atrocities involving mass civilian...
Mojave Desert, California - Bankrolled by a bunch of Wall Street hedge fund Trekkies Richard Branson's SpaceShipTwo exploded during a test fright over the Mojave Desert this morning. The $100m craft blew up unexpectedly just daze after NASA's In...
New York - Former first lady Hillary Clinton has decided to take a break from her current book tour to listen to her latest muse - her own current book tour. "I looked in the mirror the other day, and I realized that my disastrous book tou...
Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, a Boeing 777 wide-body passenger plane with 239 people on board, which disappeared an hour after takeoff almost a week ago and has since been the focus of a massive international search, has finally been located. The mi...
Midwest, An attempt by annoying pop sensation Justin Bieber to become the first person to jump from an airplane and successfully land safely WITHOUT the use of a parachute has ended in disaster with hospital staff ruling out any possible public comeb...
Old Trafford, Manchester: Like the Politburo standing high above, the 'Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old Trafford' strikes again, again and again... Manchester United all in name, keep losing. It has been reported that the 'Phantom Raspberry Blowe...
Worried parents and performing clowns have been seated watching news24 for the last 72 hours, biting eyebrows and clipping unwanted chattering teeth after somegirl, someplace, it was Alice but not their Alcie disspersed into the winds surrounding her...
In the latest twist in the ongoing saga that is the fifth film in the Resident Evil series, Resident Evil: Retribution, half the cast were rushed to hospital in Toronto last night. "We were filming a zombie scene," said stunt director, Nick Powell...
Irish rockstar Bono checked into a Monte Carlo hospital for a routine medical procedure to have his ego topped up in the frontal lobe of the brain. This is an operation Bono has every year but something went horribly wrong this time and consequences...
A huge dense ash cloud is heading for the UK. The cloud is on its way from Iceland where volcanoes continue to erupt. People are asked to keep all children and pets indoors until given the 'all clear'. They are also being advised to bring in all...
First there was the earthquake, next came the tsunami, and then the horror of the radiation leak. This last week has been one of the worst in Japan's history as a series of natural disasters has caused widespread devastation in the North East of t...
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