WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Washington Globe-Express is reporting that the Washington, D.C. health code inspector has just inspected the White House from top to bottom.
Hoyt Tullyweiser, told the Globe-Express that he found traces of COVID-19 in every room of the White House, including all 17 bathrooms.
He noted that there are enough COVID-19 germs in the White House to destroy the entire populations of Hocus Pocus and Duck Dung, Alabama (combined population 17,301).
When asked what needed to be done, Tullyweiser shook his head and said that the entire White House should really and truly be burned to the ground. But, he said, the germs would then get up in the air, and possibly end up in Baltimore.
Tullyweiser remarked that the White House will have to be completely sprayed with a mixture of Lysol, Clorox, industrial kerosene, gasoline, and hydrochloric acid, and then bulldozed all-to-hell.
When Trump was told about the need to demolish the White House, he called Tullyweiser an anti-Trump liar, a hoaxer, and a witch hunter.