WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Ivanka Trump, who is her father’s most trusted adviser, has really been quite depressed lately. And it’s not because her father contracted the Coronavirus, since she knew it was going to happen, due to the fact…
The war on the trade in illegally harvested orgasms is becoming more intense as the 3-year waiting list for NHS orgasm transfusion is leaving patients desperate and gagging. “Orgasm harvesting is intrusive, debilitating and messy,” said Brenda O’…
SAN ANTONIO - Johnson & Johnson, makers of No More Tears, electrified the proceedings of the American Urological Association here yesterday by announcing the development of a drug that stops premature ejaculation in its tracks. That drug, dapoxe...
A powerful rainstorm blew fast and wet through the desperate desert town of Henderson, Nevada, this weekend, bringing sticky sighs of relief - and of sheer pleasure - to residents desperate for lubrication. "Praise Jesus, was I happy to get some,"...
You've seen the videos; head jerking, loss of balance, cackling inappropriate laughter, bizarre contorted smiling. Many have speculated everything from brain damage, epilepsy, and Parkinson's disease but the truth is at last here thanks to a leak fro...
Philadelphia - Just moments after saying, "she'll finish the job," President Barack Obama was met on stage by Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton before the cheering throng of delegates to the 2016 Democratic Convention. The two embraced, and walked...
Washington DC - The Obama Administration's education department has come under fire for re-writing the nation's sex education standards so that they emphasize technique. The new standards, summarized in a recent Department of Education press relea...
Dublin, Ireland - Doctors at Dublin's world-famous Ear, Nose, Throat & Penis Hospital have successfully treated a man whose bicycle saddle 'accidentally interfered with him' causing a seven week erection and the destruction of his Lycra cycling p...
Local couple Dick and Kittie Cummings found themselves in a sticky situation early Saturday after a morning quickie went horribly wrong. "I reckoned he'd be kind of horny after two weeks at sea, but I wasn't expecting this", said a visibly bloated...
Medical centers of all types have been receiving thousands of calls from women over "Liz", the woman who had a three hour orgasm according to TV program and confirmed by doctors at hospital where she was taken for medical help. The callers want to...
The Seattle woman who had a three hour orgasm and wound up in the hospital emergency room says her partner probably won't say if he helped what had happened. "That's up to him. I don't think he did anything different. I only drank some wine as usu...
For one woman, a mind-blowing orgasm sent her to heaven, then through a lot of pain and after three hours, to the hospital emergency room in Seattle. The lady had just had sex with her partner, but well after he climbed off, Liz was hitting new p...
There were reports of unrest in Southeast Asia this morning after a woman is alleged to have faked an orgasm. The incident took place in the Thai capital of Bangkok during the early evening of Saturday, after a man and his girlfriend had sex in an...
Dr. Doom--his very name spells disaster. Not surprisingly, this gray-armored, green-robed, hoodie-clad supervillain remains one of Marvel Comics' most popular bad guys ever--so popular, in fact, that he is often soon retired after appearing, for an issue of two, usually in The Fantastic Four, the comic book that showcased his origin, for fear that he will eclipse the superheroes he fights. Not the...
The Government have, this morning, unveiled plans to raise billions of pounds to support the fragile economy. It was widely expected that they were to introduce an increase in VAT, but in a shock, and massively controversial, move, Government spokesp...
Orgasmic sensations are no healthier than non-orgasmic experiences, such as heavy petting or routine fore-play. Professor Tom Peeping and his team of intrepid observers, from Clitoral College, claim that orgasmic induction methods cause more harm...
The contents of a private diary bought at a boot sale in Yorkshire provide further evidence that Test Cricket can be a huge aphrodisiac. The journals of Fanny Old, Vice President of the Eccles Women's Institute, record in graphic detail her sexua...
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