WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Fake news story) A highly-reliable source within the White House walls has revealed that the President was actually considering calling in a napalm air strike on the Portland protesters.
The source said that the President had already talked to the pilot who was to have flown the napalm bombing mission.
Reports are that Trump had instructed the Colonel on how he wanted him to carry out the bombing mission.
But, after being told by Kellyanne Conway that, if he did napalm the anti-Electoral College protesters, his approval numbers would go down from 17% to possibly minus 3%, so he decided to change his mind.
But, being the hard-orange-headed person he is, he noted that the napalming is still on the table; especially if CNN keeps pissing him off.
Press secretary Kayleigh McEnany was overheard to softly say, “Good boy, Mr. President, good boy.”
