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Trail Blazers to Face Central PA Elite 14U in First Round of Consolation Bracket

After a devastating 4-0 Series loss against the Golden State Warriors, the Portland Trail Blazers have shifted focus to their next opponent, the Central PA Elite 14U AAU team. We caught up with Central PA Elite's head coach Mark Hofsass. "I'm fee...

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Portland's homeless to be offered a hand up, instead of a handout

Funny story: Portland's homeless to be offered a hand up, instead of a handout

PORTLAND, ME--Tired of seeing men and women sitting on their asses, peeing on the streets, and pestering hardworking citizens for "spare" change, officials of Portland, Maine, have decided to put the bums to work. City officials have agreed to fun...

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Trashlandia: Portlanders Embark to Found New Country on Floating Garbage

Funny story: Trashlandia: Portlanders Embark to Found New Country on Floating Garbage

Not willing to sit by and see what happens under a Trump presidency, a hearty group of 55 pilgrims has already left Portland, Oregon with the first barge to start a new nation. Their destination, the huge and elusive Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

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Crisis in the Clinton Campaign

Funny story: Crisis in the Clinton Campaign

As the Clinton campaign prepares to go to Portland, Oregon in 3 weeks it is in serious negotiations with the Oregon event organizers. A crisis has emerged over the mayonnaise brand that will be used in potato salad at the event. It turns out t...

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The Portland Trailblazers Are Sitting On Top of The NBA With A 23-5 Record

Funny story: The Portland Trailblazers Are Sitting On Top of The NBA With A 23-5 Record

PORTLAND, Oregon - The Moda Center, home of the league leading Portland Trailblazers has been quite a lively place lately. The Portland fans are some of the loudest in the entire NBA. Many visiting sportswriters say that they have to use earplu...

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Portland Man Discovers Homelessness Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

Funny story: Portland Man Discovers Homelessness Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

After being forced from his home by a judge-issued protective order, Portland local, Brian Molnar had no choice but to live in his Subaru Justy. Coming from a city so rife with entertaining but hapless dregs, Molnar suspected the stint would be a nov...

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Adidas Creates Computerized 'Smart Shoe'

Funny story: Adidas Creates Computerized 'Smart Shoe'

PORTLAND, Ore. - Adidas says it has created the world's first "smart shoe" by mating it with a computer chip so it will be able to give valuable information to person wearing it.

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Woman Marries Horse Illegally

Portland, ME - A lonely woman ended her singledom today. "Today, I married my best friend and , my horse, Spirited Lover. Boy does he live...

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Breaking news…

Trump Family Publishes List of Places They Will Build New Trump Hotels

Coincidentally, they are all located in countries with no extradition treaty with the U.S.
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