PORTLAND, Oregon – (Satire News) – News reports out of Portland are reporting that two tremendously extreme hate groups clashed at a Walmart parking lot in downtown Portland. Reporters said that at first the two groups were simply taunting each ot…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Fake news story) A highly-reliable source within the White House walls has revealed that the President was actually considering calling in a napalm air strike on the Portland protesters. The source said that the President had a…
PORTLAND, Oregon (Fake News) – People all over the nation are saying that Trump’s latest ego-fit has shown that he doesn’t have a mother, or at least have any compassion for America’s mothers. When Trump was told that a group of 600 Portland Mom…
Mr. Law and Order, the guy with no laws or order and ignored Coronavirus, has the Mayor of Portland, Oregon tear-gassed. Trump wasn’t kidding when he recommended drinking Clorox or Lysol to kill the virus. He has a 'So what?' attitude, and the Mayor…
He said he would win the next election, and his plan has been put into motion: Occupy stronghold Democratic cities, deny their vote, win four more years! A sample city presently being occupied is Portland, in Oregon, not Maine. So, Trump’s unma…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donnie Johnnie Trump says that it's time for him to put his bone-spur covered foot down, and show the anti-Electoral College protesters in Portland that he is the boss of them. He told Fox News that the peaceful protes…
After a devastating 4-0 Series loss against the Golden State Warriors, the Portland Trail Blazers have shifted focus to their next opponent, the Central PA Elite 14U AAU team. We caught up with Central PA Elite's head coach Mark Hofsass. "I'm fee...
PORTLAND, ME--Tired of seeing men and women sitting on their asses, peeing on the streets, and pestering hardworking citizens for "spare" change, officials of Portland, Maine, have decided to put the bums to work. City officials have agreed to fun...
Not willing to sit by and see what happens under a Trump presidency, a hearty group of 55 pilgrims has already left Portland, Oregon with the first barge to start a new nation. Their destination, the huge and elusive Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
As the Clinton campaign prepares to go to Portland, Oregon in 3 weeks it is in serious negotiations with the Oregon event organizers. A crisis has emerged over the mayonnaise brand that will be used in potato salad at the event. It turns out t...
PORTLAND, Oregon - The Moda Center, home of the league leading Portland Trailblazers has been quite a lively place lately. The Portland fans are some of the loudest in the entire NBA. Many visiting sportswriters say that they have to use earplu...
After being forced from his home by a judge-issued protective order, Portland local, Brian Molnar had no choice but to live in his Subaru Justy. Coming from a city so rife with entertaining but hapless dregs, Molnar suspected the stint would be a nov...
PORTLAND, Ore. - Adidas says it has created the world's first "smart shoe" by mating it with a computer chip so it will be able to give valuable information to person wearing it.
Portland, ME - A lonely woman ended her singledom today. "Today, I married my best friend and , my horse, Spirited Lover. Boy does he live...
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