WASHINGTON, D.C. – Reports are that President Trump’s popularity numbers are dropping quicker than a prostitute’s underwear.
The President’s top campaign advisers say that, at this rate, Minnie Mouse may end up getting more write-in votes than Trump gets regular votes.
POTUS has repeatedly told close friends like Scott Baio, that voices in his head keep telling him to drop out of the presidential race.
His least-favorite son, Eric, has reportedly told his daddy not to worry, because he can go into the Electoral College computer and win by cheating, just like he did in 2016.
Meanwhile, Kellyanne Conway, Kayleigh McEnany, and Hope Hicks, all say that the low poll numbers are just a hoax, perpetuated by colluding witch-hunters, who hate the President because he is so smart, so handsome, so rich, and the least racist person in the entire universe.