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Funny satire stories about breathing

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Funny story: Biden calls for mandatory mask-wearing; almost gets himself tested with a GX-2009 Portable Multi-Gas Detector

Biden calls for mandatory mask-wearing; almost gets himself tested with a GX-2009 Portable Multi-Gas Detector

Yesterday in an interview with a major news network, Mr. Biden confirmed he is an advocate of mask-wearing, and he will make it mandatory, when president. He stood eight feet away from the anchor at his news desk, both wearing masks, Mr. Biden bac…

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Funny story: World's First Breathe-a-thon Attempt

World's First Breathe-a-thon Attempt

A CHARITY worker has come up with a novel way of raising funds - a sponsored breathe-in. The idea is to keeping breathing for a marathon 48 hours - non-stop. Archie Tipple said: “I know it’s a long time. I don't think it's been done before, so...

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Funny story: New Study Says Breathing Will Help You Live Longer

New Study Says Breathing Will Help You Live Longer

For ages, man, as in the species not some random guy, has sought the fountain of youth. They found it in one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but it was the bad one that no one saw, so people have no idea where they found it. But now scient...

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Funny story: Obama pimps Affordable Air Act

Obama pimps Affordable Air Act

Washington AC/DC - Three consecutive nights of Australian weed smoking have inspired Barack Obama with an absolute blinder in the shape of his forthcoming Affordable Air Act 2014. The proposals will target carbon dioxide emissions sourced to huma...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber's Mom Catches Him In His Room Holding His Breath

Justin Bieber's Mom Catches Him In His Room Holding His Breath

TORONTO - The mother of Justin Bieber says that thanks to her heartless, irresponsible, and ditsy son she has aged 10 years in the past 10 months. Pattie Mallette told a reporter for a local newspaper that she has no idea what in the world happene...

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Funny story: Oxygen more harmful than crack, says former drugs adviser

Oxygen more harmful than crack, says former drugs adviser

Oxygen is more harmful than crack cocaine when used from an early age, according to a study in the Glancet. The report was authored by Professor Arthur Tuttykins, a former drugs adviser to the government who was sacked in 2007 for reporting findin...

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Funny story: Breathing Linked To Pinworms Disease

Breathing Linked To Pinworms Disease

A new report from the Surgeon Colonel is that they have completed a major study that links breathing to Pinworms Disease. "It's almost 100%", stated S.G. to this reporter. "Two in the study have disappeared and we can't find them, but 100% of the...

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Funny story: Breathing Causes Global Warming

Breathing Causes Global Warming

In a shock announcement tonight scientists from the University of Pointless Studies (Cambridge) have managed to dispel the rumor that the major cause of CO2 in our atmosphere is due to cars, air travel or even cows It's us! By breathing in and...

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Funny story: 'Keep toddlers from breathing fresh air' call from scientist

'Keep toddlers from breathing fresh air' call from scientist

Parents should not allow under-fives to breath fresh air, an ologologist has said, in a bid to earn a fiver to buy his fake degree, or at least to get the next round in. Professor Hugh Hee said toddlers were 'most likely to run around and breath f...

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Funny story: "Breathing in" can make you ill

"Breathing in" can make you ill

Breathing in may be bad for your health according to UK scientists, who have shown that breathing in can result in lungs being filled with potentially harmful bacteria. Test revealed that that air harbours any number of airborne bacteria and spore...

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Funny story: UK and US Environmental Protection Agencies to monitor Breathing and Farting; The Vart Avoids Tracking for Now

UK and US Environmental Protection Agencies to monitor Breathing and Farting; The Vart Avoids Tracking for Now

Worldwide Environmental Protection Agencies, especially the British and Colonial divisions will begin monitoring Carbon Dioxide and Methane. EPAUK has resolved to track every breathing mammal for its CO2 load. USAEPA has made a similar resolution:...

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Funny story: Airlines to begin charging $7 for every thirty minutes of breathing air

Airlines to begin charging $7 for every thirty minutes of breathing air

Airline travelers might want to begin taking deeper breaths during their flights, because next week, the term "paying through the nose" will take on greater meaning. Citing cutbacks and recessionary conditions, the major airlines have decided to take...

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Funny story: Man found in vacuum survives on thin air

Man found in vacuum survives on thin air

A direct descendant of J Edgar Hoover, inventor of the dam*, has been discovered by builders during refurbishment work at the BBC. He is thought to date from the early 19th century and claims that he was 'bricked up' as he dozed off after ta...

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Funny story: Breathing To Be Taxed, Announces Chancellor

Breathing To Be Taxed, Announces Chancellor

The Chancellor of the Exchecquer, Alistair Darling, today announced plans to create a new tax on breathing.

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Funny story: Andy Enrages Hundreds

Andy Enrages Hundreds

There was a young boy named Andy from the UK who wrote a fictitious story about a friend of mine. What he didn't realize is that he started a war. And this war will rage on until he realizes that it's not nice to write things about people, especially if it depicts this living, breathing person doing something that could get them into trouble.

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Funny story: Air Not as Important as You Think

Air Not as Important as You Think

A new study done by some research team shows that air may not be as important for your health as you may think. This study challenges such claims as "You should breathe 3,000 gallons of air every day" and "Pure air is better".

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Funny story: Breathing Banned in California

Breathing Banned in California

(Sacremento CA) Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a law today to immediately ban breathing in California. The ban would prevent the exhalation of 25 tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere each year by human beings and help stop global warming...

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