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Funny satire stories about John Wayne

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Funny story: Will Smith: “I’m Not Gonna Hit You. The Hell I’m Not!”

Will Smith: “I’m Not Gonna Hit You. The Hell I’m Not!”

BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since John Wayne suddenly changed his mind in the movie, McClintock!, has there been such a reversal of course versus one’s initial statement. When President Biden went off-script by suggesting that Vladimir Putin lose his…

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Funny story: Lying Dog-Faced Pony Soldier Rode Side-Saddle

Lying Dog-Faced Pony Soldier Rode Side-Saddle

BILLINGSGATE POST: Inexplicably, when Joe Biden called a woman a “lying, dog-faced pony soldier” at a campaign stop in New Hampshire in February, he may have not known the origin of this line. Biden’s spokesman said the line comes from a John Wayn…

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Funny story: Don’t F*ck With The Duke

Don’t F*ck With The Duke

BILLINGSGATE POST: Is nothing sacred? I fear not. Centuries have passed since Columbus sailed the ocean blue. He’s tostada. One character flaw, and there goes your statue. Mother Teresa, herself, probably couldn’t withstand the scrutiny that one mu…

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Funny story: Red Lives Matter Demands That The Kansas City Chiefs Change Their Name

Red Lives Matter Demands That The Kansas City Chiefs Change Their Name

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana – The Red Lives Matter organization, which is one of the newest of the ‘Lives Matter’ groups, has just put out a directive to the Kansas City Chiefs organization. A spokeswoman for the group has demanded that Clark Knobel Hun…

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Funny story: Protesters Win and Now The John Wayne Airport Will Be Renamed

Protesters Win and Now The John Wayne Airport Will Be Renamed

SANTA ANA, California – The town that gave the name to the famous Santa Ana Winds has just voted to drop the name of the John Wayne Airport. Several groups of Native-Americans including the Mescalero Apaches, the Chiricahua Apaches, the Coyotero A…

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Funny story: Dr. Billingsgate Declares War On Commie-Pinko Spoofers

Dr. Billingsgate Declares War On Commie-Pinko Spoofers

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a carefully scripted declaration, so nuanced that even he could not understand what he was saying, Dr. Billingsgate went one step farther in his war against the proliferation of Commie-Pinko writers who have surreptitiously tak...

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Funny story: Rex The Wonder Dog To Join Trump's White House Coronavirus Task Force

Rex The Wonder Dog To Join Trump's White House Coronavirus Task Force

BILLINGSGATE POST: Upon his appointment to President Trump’s White House Coronavirus Task Force; an open letter from Rex the Wonder Dog to the American public: “You can't imagine how proud I am to join President Trump’s White House Coronavirus Tas...

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Funny story: John Wayne Was A Woman

John Wayne Was A Woman

Extraordinary news coming out of Hollywood last night, was that the actor, John Wayne, who played so many 'tough guy' roles in Westerns before he died in 1979, was not a 'guy' after all, but a gal. Or, rather, a dame. Shocking to many people, the...

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Funny story: 21st June, the Longest Day, the invasion of France.

21st June, the Longest Day, the invasion of France.

White House, Washington: Donald Trump has made a special announcement. “Tomorrow, is the longest day, on the 21st June. As we all know, the documentary film by Daniel Zanuck, also called the Longest Day, shows how John Wayne parachuted in and st...

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Funny story: The legendary life of Wyatt Earp

The legendary life of Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp was a sometimes-lawman, sometimes-outlaw who sometimes owned a saloon and occasionally dealt cards or shot buffalo, depending on the economy and job market of the Territory (Indiana, Kansas, Nevada, Alaska, California) in which the itinerant jack of all trades happened to hang his hat on any given day. He went by a number of aliases, including Randolph Scott, Errol Flynn, Jimmy Stewa...

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Funny story: Obama To Ban Shotgun Weddings: Calls It Asymmetrical Warfare

Obama To Ban Shotgun Weddings: Calls It Asymmetrical Warfare

BILLINGSGATE POST - Vice-President Biden announced today that he will recommend to the President that shotgun weddings be banned. A shotgun wedding is a situation in which a girl gets knocked up and the family forces the boy and girl to get married.

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Funny story: Leominster Men Latest Victims Of John Wayne-Induced Happy Slaps

Leominster Men Latest Victims Of John Wayne-Induced Happy Slaps

Leominster is the latest sleepy provincial market town to be hit by a spate of John Wayne-induced happy slap attacks. The outbreak of about 60 incidents last night followed two earlier attacks by wives in Selby, North Yorkshire. They attacked thei...

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Funny story: Selby Wives In Happy Slap Bonanza During John Wayne Movies

Selby Wives In Happy Slap Bonanza During John Wayne Movies

Selby's married women have gone on a 'happy slapping' rampage today during TV screenings of John Wayne movies. As we reported earlier today, Mr Barry Glimpse was attacked by his wife and sister-in-law while watching Rio Bravo. It transpired th...

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Funny story: Selby Man Copy Cat Happy Slapped While Watching John Wayne

Selby Man Copy Cat Happy Slapped While Watching John Wayne

A Selby man was subject to a happy slap attack by his wife and sister-in-law today while watching the John Wayne western Rio Bravo. The incident appears to have been a copy cat version of a similar attack last month. Barry Glimpse, 47, of Ikea...

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Funny story: Selby Man In Happy Slapping Incident While Watching John Wayne

Selby Man In Happy Slapping Incident While Watching John Wayne

A Selby man was sitting quietly watching TV this afternoon when he was "happy slapped" by his wife. Royce Bandersnatch, of Cumberbatch Rise, had been looking forward to watching the classic Howard Hawks western, El Dorado, featuring John Wayne, Ro...

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Funny story: New Johnny Cash Song Discovered About John Wayne - "A Boy Named Marion"

New Johnny Cash Song Discovered About John Wayne - "A Boy Named Marion"

Johnny Cash historians have discovered a previously unknown Cash ballad amongst his files that might be his next posthumous hit. It appears to be a rewrite of his big '60's hit "A Boy Named Sue" that is a tribute to movie star John Wayne. Wayne's name at birth was actually Marion, normally a woman's name, which supposed caused him grief with his classmates in school. Cash seemingly saw the similar...

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Funny story: Easy Rider Dennis Hopper Bikes His Way Into The Unknown At 74

Easy Rider Dennis Hopper Bikes His Way Into The Unknown At 74

Legendary actor Dennis Hopper has died at the age of 74. Hopper, who was not the easiest person to be around, according to those who loved him, had prostate cancer. "Hopper was a pain in the ass but a great friend", stated Jack Nicholson. "He gave...

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