Trump Claims Bone Spurs On Coronavirus And Quits

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 16 June 2020

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President Trump is quitting the coronavirus pandemic, claiming, "If we don’t test, there won’t be any numbers to say we have coronavirus. Therefore, we’ve conquered coronavirus. No numbers, no virus!"

The thinking is pure genius!

So, if someone dies, and there is no death certificate to say he died, that means he’s still alive, though probably sinking.

Enter Trump’s Men’s Cologne. Flood the place with it.

The same thing worked on election night 2016. Trump didn’t win. Fake the numbers in four states. Trump wins the Electoral College. Trump’s in the White House. Another example of pure genius, once again.

Stop reporting acts of police brutality, and guess what? There won’t be any police brutality.

Clear, peaceful demonstrators in Lafayette Park with mounted police, tear gas, rubber bullets, batons, and guess what? There isn’t a demonstration. No demonstrators. Then Trump can go to the steps of St. John’s Episcopal Church, stand there like a tree stump, and hold up a bible. More genius!

Announce you got a real love letter from Kin Jong-un, of North Korea. Everything is just peachy rosy. So he tests an intercontinental ballistic missile? So? Nobody died!

Same with China. Trump used the chocolate cake diplomacy on China and, China loves him, he says. Announce that Putin was right, and all of the U.S. intelligence agencies were wrong about Putin interfering with the 2016 election. Putin just loves Trump.

In other words, don’t kick ass, and you win every time.

So Trump is quitting on coronavirus. No testing. No numbers. It’s gone.

Just like an ostrich.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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