Nashville Man Successfully Treats Coronavirus with Wedge of Lime

Written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 8 March 2020

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The time-honored Mexican brew, served with a green citrus wedge, proved an effective home remedy.

Feeling parched and a little feverish, Justin Lancet of Nashville, Tennessee, successfully treated his suspected case of coronavirus with a chilled beverage accompanied by a wedge of lime.

“It really took the edge off,” said Lancet, who takes concerns about mass epidemics quite seriously. “I think it was probably the vitamin C in the lime. That helped a lot with scurvy, you know.”

Lancet, who hasn’t been tested for coronavirus, but hopes to have the opportunity at some point, explained that, for now, in the absence of a vaccine, he’s relying on home remedies like couch-rest and ingesting lots of fluids. “I was craving something cool to soothe my throat, and I wanted to do everything I could to prevent germs.”

According to Lancet, the time-honored Mexican Corona brew, accompanied by the green citrus wedge, fit the bill on all counts. “It’s empowering to know that I can heal myself," he said. "People don’t realize how much of their health is within their control."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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