Hold your nose apparatus to be available for the November election

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Saturday, 7 March 2020

image for Hold your nose apparatus to be available for the November election
Purchasers of the new nose-pin Cov-19 mask are also automatically enrolled in cruise ship holiday programs

An American tradition over the past several decades has at last delivered a product promising big returns for the manufacturer.

Candidates running for high office, especially in recent years, have been noticed as having something of an odor trailing after them.

Against this problem, “the lesser evil” bromide is offered to get out the vote.

Barack Obama was “the lesser evil” in 2012's presidential contest, Hillary Clinton in 2016, and today?

Mr. Perez, Chair of the DNC: “Well, I don't know that evil applies here. Now, on the dementia problem with Mr. Biden, let me get back to you on that.”

In a sort of Greek Chorus, DNC reps and media people are also claiming Mr. Biden is far less dangerous than Mr. Trump—as to being influenced and led by foreigners.

However, in contrast, he is currently being sued by a prosecutor from Ukraine for doing exactly the opposite--interfering in the Ukraine!

Mr. Biden's odor here arose when he threatened to withhold a billion in aid money, plus he insisted the Ukraine prosecutor investigating his son's cushy job with Burisma Holdings should be fired.

Now, as to the Bernie Sanders Phenomenon, Mr. Perez replied:

“Don't get me started on that! The man is under the influence of everyone from Fidel Castro back to Karl Marx and Stalin and Attila the Hun before that!”

The hold-your-nose principle explained

It all comes down to: Who is worst?

Then hold your nose and vote for the lesser evil,

They are all evil, yes, but who is the least evil of the proffered candidates? Sure, look, who isn't trailing a certain odor these days?”

In response to this problem, various products have emerged in the past, such as swab tests; odor meters measuring stench levels; perfumed ballots; toilets in voting halls which play music while being used.

The latest innovation is an apparatus with clothes-pin like device mounted to pinch the nostrils--”100% odor deletion; breathe through your mouth.”

Further, the deluxe model includes a surgical Covid-19 mask attached securely below the nose pin apparatus.

The latter is “ultimate protection” in case there are any outbreaks of the virus while a citizen is waiting his/her turn at the voting booth for six hours in California, Texas, or wherever.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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