Professing a commitment to avoiding mob rule, the Republican-led United States Senate voted to prohibit the introduction of voting ballots into the 2020 general presidential election.
"We've already got a president, so there's no point in considering extraneous evidence on the issue, like voter preference," stated Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, noting that voting would only needlessly delay the election proceedings.
With regard to party primary elections, McConnell explained that while the Democratic presidential primary might utilize some sort of voter feedback via its new election app, the Republican primary will rely solely on time-tested, low-tech techniques like voter suppression.
"This technology arrogance is crippling our country," said McConnell. "We don't need to constantly reinvent the wheel. The bottom line is we don't need votes to know how the American people feel."
McConnell concluded his remarks by stating that, although Joe Rogan might have endorsed Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders, the Senate is officially endorsing Republican candidate Donald Trump.
"Put that in your wheelhouse and spin it, Bernie," he joked. "You feeling the Bern yet?"
