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Funny satire stories about Mitch McConnell

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Funny story: Moscow Mitch Doesn't like Being Called Moscow Mitch!

Moscow Mitch Doesn't like Being Called Moscow Mitch!

U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell this week complained about being labled "Moscow Mitch", based on his not allowing legislation to strengthen preventive measures against Russian interference in U.S. elections. Leningrad Lindsey Graham came to Moscow Mi...

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Funny story: U.S. Threatens to Send Mitch McConnell to Iran - Iran Agrees To New Nuclear Deal

U.S. Threatens to Send Mitch McConnell to Iran - Iran Agrees To New Nuclear Deal

In a rare moment of cooperation between the State Department and the Trump White House, the United States threatened to gift Iran with Mitch McConnell, and shook Iran's Mullahs to their core. "We simply cannot accept this generous offer to send th...

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Funny story: And.... PULL! ; New Republican Alternatives to Abortion

And.... PULL! ; New Republican Alternatives to Abortion

In lieu of abortion, United States Republicans have approved a new usage for fetuses that die while still in the womb. Under new guidelines, once the woman is executed for her miscarriage, she will be ground up in a mulcher and spread on the White H...

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Funny story: Trump To Give Commencement Address At Trump University

Trump To Give Commencement Address At Trump University

Though Trump University has been shut down, it's in working condition at the Republican Senate. To make points with a maniacal landlord, this once respected chamber is now known as the Trump University of Delusion. Senator Mitch McConnell is grad...

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Funny story: Mitch McConnell and Senate Republicans Vote Down Their Own Bill Proclaiming Ocasio-Cortez President

Mitch McConnell and Senate Republicans Vote Down Their Own Bill Proclaiming Ocasio-Cortez President

Washington - After scoring huge propaganda wins by introducing and then defeating proposed legislation, including the unrefined “Green New Deal” and “Medicare for All” bills, Senate Republicans have brought to the floor, and then defeated, a bill dec...

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Funny story: Entire Republican party admits to wearing blackface

Entire Republican party admits to wearing blackface

Mitch McConnell, house leader of the Republican party has admitted that on conferences, the entire party dresses in blackface, and often with Indian feathers, too. "We love it," said party member Geoff White. "We're embracing our inner negro. It's...

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Funny story: The F-ing Moron Is President

The F-ing Moron Is President

What’s the big hold up? More people voted for Hillary Clinton to be President of the United States than for the fat, dumb kid in the back of the classroom blowing spit-balls. No-one allows a drunkard to fly a 747 passenger plane off the tarmac, l...

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Funny story: President Trump Unleashes Nuclear Strikes on Planned Parenthood

President Trump Unleashes Nuclear Strikes on Planned Parenthood

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a devastating and unbelievable development, President Donald Trump has struck every abortion clinic and Planned Parenthood center in the United States with nuclear weapons. "THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!" Trump...

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Funny story: American Airlines Unveils New Foot-Powered Airplanes

American Airlines Unveils New Foot-Powered Airplanes

FORT WORTH, TX - Doug Parker, the CEO of American Airlines, unveiled a new fleet of airplanes that have no engines and no floor. "A company's number one priority is customer satisfaction. We have been keeping up with recent trends, and we have dis...

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Funny story: Republicans Decide Voter Suppression is Too Much Work, Decide to Set Democrats on Fire

Republicans Decide Voter Suppression is Too Much Work, Decide to Set Democrats on Fire

WASHINGTON D.C.: Republicans unveiled a controversial tactic in their attempt to win the 2018 election. Senator Mitch McConnell told CNN, “We gained five points in the polls when we implied that Democrats should not have heads if they take back the Congress. So we've decided to hunt and kill them to ensure total control. Rand Paul is going to wear Al Franken's skin just in case someone decides...

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Funny story: Joketsuzoku Warriors Splash Trump, McConnell, Kavanaugh with Nyannichuan Water

Joketsuzoku Warriors Splash Trump, McConnell, Kavanaugh with Nyannichuan Water

WASHINGTON D.C. - Chaos erupted in the nation's capital as elite members of the Joketsuzoku splashed President Donald Trump, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, and Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh with Nyannichuan water from the cursed springs of Jusenkyo. The Joketsuzoku, a tribe of female warriors embedded deep in the deepest mountainous regions of China, were rumored to have died o...

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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi Unable to Say the Word "Impeachment"

Nancy Pelosi Unable to Say the Word "Impeachment"

WASHINGTON D.C. - In an interview with various reporters, Nancy Pelosi stated, "As House Minority Leader, I believe it is not the proper course of action to respond to Judge Kavanaugh with talk of impuuuu-" Pelosi then strained her face and squirm...

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Funny story: Old-Testament God Creates 11th Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Engage in Victim Blaming, You Sadistic Morons”

Old-Testament God Creates 11th Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Engage in Victim Blaming, You Sadistic Morons”

WASHINGTON D.C. - Emerging from the heavens amidst a flurry of lightning and ferocious winds, the Old-Testament God, commonly known as Yahweh, descended upon the United States Congress. “I am the Lord thy God,” Yahweh bellowed, shaking the ground...

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Funny story: Senator McConnell Channels Magneto, Shouts, “DEMOCRATS! WELCOME TO DIE!”

Senator McConnell Channels Magneto, Shouts, “DEMOCRATS! WELCOME TO DIE!”

WASHINGTON D.C. - Senator Mitch McConnell left his fellow politicians confused and terrorized when he took to the podium in Senate chambers, generated an electromagnetic force field, and shouted, “DEMOCRATS! WELCOME TO DIE!” Senators and staff fle...

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Funny story: Judge Kavanaugh Presses Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start, Gets 30 Lives

Judge Kavanaugh Presses Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start, Gets 30 Lives

WASHINGTON D.C. - In a shocking development, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh plugged an NES controller into his gavel and entered the infamous "Konami code" (Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start), granting him a grand total...

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Funny story: Dr. Emil Skoda: “Senator Mitch McConnell Believes Every Group That Aren't White Males Are a Mob”

Dr. Emil Skoda: “Senator Mitch McConnell Believes Every Group That Aren't White Males Are a Mob”

NEW YORK, NY – Dr. Emil Skoda, a psychiatrist who works with the New York Police Department, claimed that Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) suffers from delusion disorder. “In a nutshell, Senator McConnell believes that every congregation of people t...

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Funny story: Brett Kavanaugh Transforms Into The Hulk

Brett Kavanaugh Transforms Into The Hulk

The floor of the Senate was the site of a series of astonishing superhero-related battles as Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh transformed into The Incredible Hulk before the astonished eyes of the assembled Senate Judiciary Committee and the new...

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