Rivals for the Democratic Party presidential candicacy in the state of Nevada were sent reeling, as He-Man of the Left Bernie Sanders delivered a mighty good kicking in their primaries.
Skeletor Joe Biden screamed in pain despite coming second, as the 78-year old Senator from Vermont got more than twice his votes. Pete Buttiegieg dove for cover but still caught a zinger, with less than one-third of Sanders’ votes. Elizabeth Warren avoided any physical harm, possibly with some Native American hoodoo. The other candidates were wiped from the field.
The Comrade Colonel, who honeymooned in Moscow, and later claimed he had planned to go to Maui and the pilot of the plane got it wrong, delivered a bucket-full of his opponent’s body parts to President Trump, who was reported to be hiding in the White House, cringing at the barbecuing he is likely to receive if the two go mano a mano in the Presidential election later this year. “Y’all will see that I’ll make coleslaw out of him”, snarled the Colonel, “I’m used to frying chickens.”
Trump retaliated by tweeting from under his bed covers that it was fake news, that he had already won the election and that Sanders was the most unpopular person in history.