President Trump has issued a full pardon for Adolf Hitler, and released the following statement:
"Under my role model's administration, the German economy was the strongest it had ever been. The stock market was through the roof.
And the German military was the most powerful it had ever been. Nobody messed with them. That's what I'd like to do in this country.
And the stupid fake media didn't have all these hoax witch hunts like ours does. The man really had a lot of qualities I admire. He was truly a very fine person.
Everyone wants to focus on the negative. They're so stupid. They're all communists and socialists. Don't listen to them. They want to steal your social security by funding it.
Not only that, but the railroads ran on time. Perfect time. Nobody talks about that. I wish we could do that with our stupid trains. "
Trump added, "They say The Fuhrer was kind to dogs. Well, nobody's perfect."