Nancy Pelosi besieged with bad dreams seeks psychiatrist; ends with further shivers

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 7 May 2019

image for Nancy Pelosi besieged with bad dreams seeks psychiatrist; ends with further shivers
Dr. Laston is considering adding a career--in politics

Questioned on whether Mr. Biden’s entry into the presidential race has somehow disturbed her, Ms. Pelosi answered a New York Times reporter with a firm: “Not at all.”

Nevertheless, her dream—occurring during the night right before he announced—has caused some turmoil.

Ms. Pelosi’s dream:

In the nightmare Mr. Biden was delivered to her office (dimly lit, and “morbid with shadows,” she said) in a long white gift package.

The package was decorated with pink flowers on its sides and Mr. Biden (either asleep or deceased) appeared to be smiling behind a plastic window.

In the dream she opened up the window, but then closed it, thinking he resembled one of her life-sized dolls from a Christmas season long ago.

Bolt upright in bed, she woke up gasping for air at 2:00 a.m.

Immediately, she consulted with Dr. Freezsia Laston, well-known psychiatrist in Washington D.C.

Dr. Laston’s analysis:

“Creepy Joe” is a problem for the Democratic Party.

Whereas Mr. Biden appears almost saintly (the pretty packaging), he is, in fact, mostly moribund as a presidential candidate at this time.

Hence, in the dream he kept his eyes closed, or seemed deceased.

And was he clutching something in his right hand?

To answer, Ms. Pelosi entered hypnosis on the doctor’s couch to recall—"Yes! Yes! He was!"

He was holding a lengthy list of “me-too” names on the “Creepy Joe” insinuation.

Shaken, Ms. Pelosi decided she must consult with Mr. Biden right away the next morning, to which the former Vice President responded, teeth bright and white as he entered her office.

According to The Times' leaker (anonymous) Ms. Pelosi was reassured by Mr. Biden’s vitality, including his hearty laughter.

Until she discovered he was gazing at her continually, with no let-up.

This fixation peculiarity, however, she pushed aside. Her dream was nonsense. There was no problem.

(On leaving, as she shook hands with him, he raised her fingers to his lips and lingered over them.)

After all, she continued as the door finally closed on him, what other Centrist was there the Democrats could run?

Who better to deal with that pack of leftie radicals led by Bernie Sanders?

The follow-up dream

Again she woke up gasping and feeling she was being strangled.

There she was--elected as President of the United States! She was addressing The Nation for the first time! Everyone was cheering!

Of course she was at her absolute neatest in a sharp blue suit with an orchid in the lapel.

But there—fixating on her with that ongoing, endless stare—and newly elected with her at Vice-President!

Creepy Joe!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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