Democrats hope to ride prisoner voting issue all the way to the White House

Written by Jas Guipe

Saturday, 27 April 2019

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Some say President Trump is pretty adept at creating and deploying memes to his advantage. Not so fast, say Democrats, we think we’ve discovered a way to beat the president at his own game. Bernie Sanders, AOC and members of the MSM are having an important conversation about extending voting rights to the incarcerated. Many media experts think this could be the issue to carry Democrats into the White House in 2020.

“We think this is an issue voters care about,” says a former aide to Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders. “This is what we in the Beltway Bubble call a ‘kitchen table issue’. I personally don’t supper at a kitchen table. I usually dine out with political power players. But I understand most Americans talk politics at their kitchen tables, and we think prisoner voting is front and center of those discussions.”

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez thinks the conversation is important “To avoid looking completely + utterly out of touch w/ the reality our prison system.” Many analysts agree this is a shrewd move on the part of AOC, seizing the issue before the Democrat’s opponents have an opportunity to define it on their terms and use it to their advantage.

Even AOC’s chief-of-staff is weighing-in on the debate. However, Saikat Chakrabarti doesn’t want the issue to get too bogged down in nuance, but rather should be summed up in an easy-to-understand meme. “”Unlock the Vote’. I envision a Democratic Convention where ‘Unlock the Vote’ is a near-constant chant. This is the kind of thing that’s going to carry Dems into the White House.”

However the Democrats decide to deploy this winning strategy, they know one thing is for certain: many thousands of inmates will be grateful to them for restoring their right to vote. Said one inmate, “Do I look like the kind of person who votes to you? I’ve never voted a day in my life. Politicians can go fuck themselves.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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