Venezuelan Embassy, Ottawa, Canada. Exclusive to The Spoof. From his asylum here, necessitated by his leak of the Mueller Report, Etaoin Shrdlu, one of nearly two dozen candidates seeking the Democratic presidential nomination, today released his first radio commercial. It comes in the form of a campaign song parody of the 1940s favorite, "I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover."
Shrdlu wrote it himself, but openly admits that he drew heavily on two other campaign songs of that era.
Shrdlu, at 89 the oldest candidate to ever seek the nomination of a major, or minor, party, recalls from his youth the Eisenhower song at the Republican convention in 1952 which belittled his major opponent Robert Taft as "a four time loser." In the current song, Shrdlu reminds voters of Joe Biden's two previous failed attempts to get the nomination.
Shrdlu also recalls the 1948 song for radio host Jim Hawthorne, who ran for president that year on the Cornball Ticket, and is now recognized as the first environmentalist candidate because he promised to paint the White House green.
Here are Shrdlu's lyrics, to the melody of "Four Leaf Clover," as sung by The Tree Huggers. "Brogan" refers to Shrdlu's campaign symbol, a sturdy, reliable, workingman's shoe.
Joe is a loser, a two time loser,
And we'll never win with Joe.
Shrdlu in the White House will be peachy keen.
After awhile he'll paint the White House Green.
No need explaining that we're campaigning,
It's Shrdlu for President.
So up with the brogan, and shout our slogan,
"SOCK IT TO THE ONE PERCENT."