FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

Written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 22 April 2019

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Felicia Ortega naturally feels great about being at her natural weight.

With over 70 percent of Americans exceeding their ideal weight and 33 percent obese, the Food and Drug Administration has, for logistical purposes, officially abandoned its use of the term "overweight" in favor of the term "natural weight."

"We wanted to remove the stigma around obesity," stated FDA executive Marcia Stapleton. "If the large majority of Americans are, well, large, then that's just normal. Who can argue with the law of averages?"

According to Stapleton, the FDA had considered replacing the term "overweight" with "normal weight," but felt that this terminology could set people up for emotionally upsetting comparison games.

"Just because someone's above average in terms of their weight shouldn't mean they feel abnornal," said Stapleton. "The term 'natural weight' is expansive enough to include everyone. After all, it's your body. How could anything your own body does be anything other than natural?"

When pressed as to whether the FDA is concerned over the fact that so many Americans are what was formerly known as overweight, Stapleton only laughed. "If we're all doing it, can it be that bad?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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