Nashville Man Prioritizes His Health By Switching from Sprite to Canada Dry

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Saturday, 13 April 2019

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Health-conscious Christian Casey cut his daily sugar intake by two grams by switching from Sprite to Canada Dry.

After being forced to undergo bypass surgery to address his advanced heart disease, 48-year-old Christian Casey of Nashville, Tennessee, decided it was time to make some real changes to his diet, including switching from drinking Sprite to Canada Dry.

"I gave up caffeine a long time ago, so that wasn't an issue for me, thank God," said Christian. "I never drink coffee or even green tea. Did you know that even decaf has traces of caffeine? That's the trouble, people don't know these things."

Christian noted that, per serving, Canada Dry has approximately two fewer grams of sugar than Sprite. "Some people might say that's such a tiny difference, why bother?" he said. "But it's these small, sustainable changes that add up over the long term. In fact, I'm already feeling less bloated."

And it's not just his diet that Christian is tweaking; it's his lifestyle. Having learned that "sitting is the new smoking," he now makes a practice of standing up from the couch at least every 90 minutes while he's watching T.V.  He's even got an alarm set on his cell phone to remind him to do so.

"It takes some forethought," he said, "but it's worth it. If this can ward off another heart attack, I'm in."

Unfortunately, Christian's wife, Lisa, isn't nearly as health-conscious as he is. "But I'm working on her," said Christian. "I've already gotten her to cut her caffeine by increasing the proportion of half and half in her coffee. She'll get there!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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