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Funny satire stories about Diet

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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth Has Lost 7 Pounds On Her Amazing Sardine Diet

Queen Elizabeth Has Lost 7 Pounds On Her Amazing Sardine Diet

LONDON - (UK Satire) - The Bees Knees News Agency recently reported that the queen was a bit upset with herself after she had put on 2¼ pounds at England's famed Mick Jagger Music Festival and Eating Contest, which was recently held in Tottenham.

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Funny story: McDonalds Is Now Serving Diet Big Macs

McDonalds Is Now Serving Diet Big Macs

CICERO, Illinois - (Satire News) - The McDonalds Corporation has always listened to the buying public. In a move that will most assuredly increase Mickey D's burger sales, the big burger giant is now selling Diet Big Macs. The new burger only h…

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Funny story: A Obese Woman From Seattle Swallows 119 Diet Pills and Loses 16 Pounds In 45 Minutes

A Obese Woman From Seattle Swallows 119 Diet Pills and Loses 16 Pounds In 45 Minutes

SEATTLE - (Satire News) - All of her life, Dora Flora Hogwood, has battled fatness. When she was born she was so huge, that her mom's screams could be heard four blocks from the hospital's delivery room. At birth, little Dora tipped the scales at…

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Funny story: Dieting man disappoints online date

Dieting man disappoints online date

Having recently lost 4 and a half stone, Thomas Thompson was feeling good about himself, only for the look of disgust on his date's face to dent his confidence. 'I have a thing for bulkier chaps,' said date Zoe, 'and in his photos Tom was bulkier,…

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Funny story: Funny and original woman claims Chocolate Orange is one of her five a day

Funny and original woman claims Chocolate Orange is one of her five a day

As people across the country are starting their new year diets, one woman has found a hilarious and original way to eat chocolate and stick to her diet by posting on Fakebook 'Look everyone, having my five a day, LOL' accompanied by a photo of a half…

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Funny story: Man starts 'New Year, New Me' regime... just like last year

Man starts 'New Year, New Me' regime... just like last year

As millions of Brits are feeling flabby after the Christmas break, one man has taken the revolutionary step of announcing his new fitness regime. Kevin Sponge, 46, said, 'Yes, I know I've said this every year since 2004, but this time it's going t…

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Funny story: Ariana Grande Says That Due to Sheltering in-Place She Has Gone Down in Weight From 108 to 97

Ariana Grande Says That Due to Sheltering in-Place She Has Gone Down in Weight From 108 to 97

FORT WALTON BEACH, Florida – The petite singer, Ariana Grande, who has won just about every music award possible, says that she is feeling a bit on the semi-depressed side. Grande, who stands 5-foot-1-inch tall, told the iRumors News Agency that,...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Encourages Americans to Drink More*

Desperate FDA Encourages Americans to Drink More*

Frustrated at Americans’ reluctance to abide by even its most tepid dietary guidelines, the long-ignored Food and Drug Administration garnered its most positive attention in decades with the issuance of a press release encouraging Americans to drink...

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Funny story: Burgers Infused with Pomegranate Cause Cancer and Heart Disease

Burgers Infused with Pomegranate Cause Cancer and Heart Disease

For those eager to complement their burgers, ketchup or barbecue sauce may be a safer bet than pomegranate, suggests a new study by the Meat in the Middle Foundation. According to the MIMF report, ground beef that was infused with pomegranate juic...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Does a Total Three-Sixty

Nashville Man Does a Total Three-Sixty

Discontented with life as usual, Bertram Harvest of Nashville, Tennessee, did a total about-face, followed by another, ending up in precisely where he had started. “What goes around comes around,” said Harvest. “In this case, it was me.” Accord...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Authorizes Two Christmas Cookies per Day during Holiday Season

Desperate FDA Authorizes Two Christmas Cookies per Day during Holiday Season

Desperate to prevent Americans from ignoring its half-hearted health recommendations altogether, the Food and Drug Administration authorized eating up to two Christmas cookies per day for the duration of the holiday season. "We encourage people to...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Considers Changing Name to "Pizza and Drugs Administration"

Desperate FDA Considers Changing Name to "Pizza and Drugs Administration"

Desperate to boost its credibility and popular appeal, the Food and Drug Administration is reportedly considering changing its name to the "Pizza and Drugs Administration". "The 'Pizza' wouldn't be referring to just pizza, of course," emphasized F...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Looks Himself in Mirror and Loses Face

Nashville Man Looks Himself in Mirror and Loses Face

After ingesting a plate of overcooked veal parmesan at a corporate dinner event in a dimlit downtown steakhouse, Joshua Hicks of Nashville, Tennessee, glanced up at the mirrored wall to make sure he didn't have any tomato sauce on his white shirt, on...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Recommends Adding More Tomato Sauce to Pizza

Desperate FDA Recommends Adding More Tomato Sauce to Pizza

"Pizza can be a foundational part of a healthy diet, and adding just a little more tomato sauce can help Americans inch that much closer to their five recommended daily servings of vegetables," said Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Brett Gir...

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Funny story: Lifestyle Medicine Doctor Urges Americans to Stop Shaming Fat People

Lifestyle Medicine Doctor Urges Americans to Stop Shaming Fat People

Dr. Lyle Hackett, a lifestyle medicine physician who helps people cure chronic health problems through changes to their diet and lifestyle, made an impassioned plea for Americans to stop shaming fat people. "Just because you're grossly obese and c...

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Funny story: Raw Food Vegan Admits to Having a Cold

Raw Food Vegan Admits to Having a Cold

"I feel like such a failure," said a hoarse Jeff Hayes of Cambridge, Massachusetts, a raw food vegan who finally came clean that he had come down with a cold. "I've let down the entire raw community. Not to mention broccoli sprouts." When it was...

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Funny story: Targeted Ad Reminds One Man How Much He Despises Applebee's but Totally Works on Other Man

Targeted Ad Reminds One Man How Much He Despises Applebee's but Totally Works on Other Man

A targeted online Applebee's ad missed the mark with Mark Jensen of New York City, who was only reminded how much he despises America's bacon-laden suburban fare and the culture it represents, but it totally worked on Chris Regan, also of New York Ci...

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