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Funny satire stories about Diet

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Funny story: Burgers Infused with Pomegranate Cause Cancer and Heart Disease

Burgers Infused with Pomegranate Cause Cancer and Heart Disease

For those eager to complement their burgers, ketchup or barbecue sauce may be a safer bet than pomegranate, suggests a new study by the Meat in the Middle Foundation. According to the MIMF report, ground beef that was infused with pomegranate juic...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Does a Total Three-Sixty

Nashville Man Does a Total Three-Sixty

Discontented with life as usual, Bertram Harvest of Nashville, Tennessee, did a total about-face, followed by another, ending up in precisely where he had started. “What goes around comes around,” said Harvest. “In this case, it was me.” Accord...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Authorizes Two Christmas Cookies per Day during Holiday Season

Desperate FDA Authorizes Two Christmas Cookies per Day during Holiday Season

Desperate to prevent Americans from ignoring its half-hearted health recommendations altogether, the Food and Drug Administration authorized eating up to two Christmas cookies per day for the duration of the holiday season. "We encourage people to...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Considers Changing Name to "Pizza and Drugs Administration"

Desperate FDA Considers Changing Name to "Pizza and Drugs Administration"

Desperate to boost its credibility and popular appeal, the Food and Drug Administration is reportedly considering changing its name to the "Pizza and Drugs Administration". "The 'Pizza' wouldn't be referring to just pizza, of course," emphasized F...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Looks Himself in Mirror and Loses Face

Nashville Man Looks Himself in Mirror and Loses Face

After ingesting a plate of overcooked veal parmesan at a corporate dinner event in a dimlit downtown steakhouse, Joshua Hicks of Nashville, Tennessee, glanced up at the mirrored wall to make sure he didn't have any tomato sauce on his white shirt, on...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Recommends Adding More Tomato Sauce to Pizza

Desperate FDA Recommends Adding More Tomato Sauce to Pizza

"Pizza can be a foundational part of a healthy diet, and adding just a little more tomato sauce can help Americans inch that much closer to their five recommended daily servings of vegetables," said Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Brett Gir...

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Funny story: Lifestyle Medicine Doctor Urges Americans to Stop Shaming Fat People

Lifestyle Medicine Doctor Urges Americans to Stop Shaming Fat People

Dr. Lyle Hackett, a lifestyle medicine physician who helps people cure chronic health problems through changes to their diet and lifestyle, made an impassioned plea for Americans to stop shaming fat people. "Just because you're grossly obese and c...

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Funny story: Raw Food Vegan Admits to Having a Cold

Raw Food Vegan Admits to Having a Cold

"I feel like such a failure," said a hoarse Jeff Hayes of Cambridge, Massachusetts, a raw food vegan who finally came clean that he had come down with a cold. "I've let down the entire raw community. Not to mention broccoli sprouts." When it was...

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Funny story: Targeted Ad Reminds One Man How Much He Despises Applebee's but Totally Works on Other Man

Targeted Ad Reminds One Man How Much He Despises Applebee's but Totally Works on Other Man

A targeted online Applebee's ad missed the mark with Mark Jensen of New York City, who was only reminded how much he despises America's bacon-laden suburban fare and the culture it represents, but it totally worked on Chris Regan, also of New York Ci...

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Funny story: Residents of Storm-Stricken Puerto Rico Remain Unable to Obtain Insulin, Coca Cola and Spam

Residents of Storm-Stricken Puerto Rico Remain Unable to Obtain Insulin, Coca Cola and Spam

Nearly two years after the major storm that devastated Puerto Rico in 2017, many residents still remain unable to obtain insulin medication, Coca Cola, and other food staples like Oreos, ice cream, and Spam. "At this point, some people are being f...

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Funny story: Increasing Number of Overweight Women Choosing Short Shorts

Increasing Number of Overweight Women Choosing Short Shorts

As the number of overweight women in the United States skyrockets, an increasing number of those women are making short shorts their garment of choice. "I really like the look," said Mandy Barnes of Nashville, Tennessee. "They're very unconfining,...

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Funny story: Tepid Veganism Catches Fire in U.S.

Tepid Veganism Catches Fire in U.S.

In an age where moral motivation is arguably at an all-time low, Americans are shying away from the strident, self-righteous style of veganism historically adopted by animal rights activists in favor of a new, more tepid form of veganism that avoids...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Skyrockets Health with Morning Chocolate Smoothie

Nashville Woman Skyrockets Health with Morning Chocolate Smoothie

Sandra Larkin of Nashville, Tennessee, has exponentially upped her intake of greens, calcium and protein by incorporating a daily specialty smoothie into her morning routine. Larkin highly recommends her chocolate peanut butter smoothie to anyone int...

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Funny story: Meat-Lover Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Suffering Farmed Animals

Meat-Lover Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Suffering Farmed Animals

"Just because I eat meat doesn't mean I don't care about animals," said Josh Driscoll of Nashville, Tennessee. "I hate when people stereotype me just because I enjoy a good steak. Vegans are so judgmental." Driscoll went on to explain that every t...

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Funny story: Meat Industry Urges Recognition of Veganism as a Religion so that People Will Stop Taking It So Seriously

Meat Industry Urges Recognition of Veganism as a Religion so that People Will Stop Taking It So Seriously

Representatives of the meat, dairy and egg industries have come out in support of the controversial push by some to recognize veganism as an official religion entitled to the full protections of the First Amendment, simply so that vegans will stop ta...

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Funny story: Woman's Overweight Friends Worry that She Might Be Getting a Little Too Fat

Woman's Overweight Friends Worry that She Might Be Getting a Little Too Fat

Concerned friends of Nanette Harper of Nashville, Tennessee, started to worry that Nanette had exceeded the extra 30 to 40 pounds that they all comfortably carry, and might be getting a little too fat. "It's a delicate subject, and you don't want...

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Funny story: Man Is Eating More Rice Than He Used To

Man Is Eating More Rice Than He Used To

After years of thinking of rice as a bland, almost-tasteless part of a meal, one man has found that he now has a keen enthusiasm for it, and eats it at least three times in every seven-day period. Moys Kenwood, 55, once thought of rice as a sticky...

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