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Funny satire stories about Obesity

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Funny story: Why Trump Must Give Up Golf

Why Trump Must Give Up Golf

Anonymous Democratic congresspeople said today that they wished Trump would stay off his golf courses. Said one, “The exercise he gets playing golf helps keep his morbidly obese body and brain functioning. I want him to be completely sedentary, eat...

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Funny story: The Trumps Talk About Killing Elephants, Pedophilia, and Crazy Nancy

The Trumps Talk About Killing Elephants, Pedophilia, and Crazy Nancy

President Trump and his two boys had a very rare meeting to discuss politics last Tuesday. The offspring had an alcoholic drink, and the President, a teetotaler, ordered some fried chicken. Trump earlier had a dinner of two Big Macs, fried chicken...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Encouraged to Learn Obesity Alone Does Not Appear to Increase Risk for COVID-19 Mortality

Nashville Woman Encouraged to Learn Obesity Alone Does Not Appear to Increase Risk for COVID-19 Mortality

Given that almost all of those who die from COVID-19 have at least one comorbidity factor like hypertension or diabetes, self-describedly “curvy” Meghan Cantwell of Nashville, Tennessee, was extremely encouraged to learn that some research suggests t...

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Funny story: Lifestyle Medicine Doctor Urges Americans to Stop Shaming Fat People

Lifestyle Medicine Doctor Urges Americans to Stop Shaming Fat People

Dr. Lyle Hackett, a lifestyle medicine physician who helps people cure chronic health problems through changes to their diet and lifestyle, made an impassioned plea for Americans to stop shaming fat people. "Just because you're grossly obese and c...

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Funny story: Obesity Linked To Diet Choices

Obesity Linked To Diet Choices

A study into the causes of obesity has concluded that the condition is almost certainly linked to whatever sufferers have stuffed down their gullets. The five-minute study undertaken by four men in a west Hull pub found that excessive bingeing on...

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Funny story: Individuals Above Certain BMI Cautioned Against Jaywalking

Individuals Above Certain BMI Cautioned Against Jaywalking

Jaywalking is not recommended for anyone, but it can be particularly hazardous for individuals above a body mass index of 25, was the warning recently issued by the City of  Nashville. Said Mayor David Briley, "it's not so much the speed that's th...

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Funny story: Increasing Number of Overweight Women Choosing Short Shorts

Increasing Number of Overweight Women Choosing Short Shorts

As the number of overweight women in the United States skyrockets, an increasing number of those women are making short shorts their garment of choice. "I really like the look," said Mandy Barnes of Nashville, Tennessee. "They're very unconfining,...

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Funny story: Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman Is A Lardarse Says Fatwa

Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman Is A Lardarse Says Fatwa

Shat-al-Arab, Middle East - (Blubber Mess): The Grand Mufti has issued a fatwa informing the people that the super-plus sized princeling is one big fat jerk. The proclamation comes after Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman tipped the scales at more than...

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Funny story: Fat kids encouraged to do more sport

Fat kids encouraged to do more sport

Japanese companies have begun investing heavily in the UK in people who they see as sports stars of the future - but they are not choosing the most athletic types. The Japanese name for Britain is "Shibō Orokamono no Shima", which translates as "isla...

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Funny story: FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

With over 70 percent of Americans exceeding their ideal weight and 33 percent obese, the Food and Drug Administration has, for logistical purposes, officially abandoned its use of the term "overweight" in favor of the term "natural weight." "We wa...

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Funny story: Humans to be fitted with Calorie Limiters to curb obesity

Humans to be fitted with Calorie Limiters to curb obesity

MANDATORY automatic calorie limiters could soon be implanted into all new-born babies within the next three years, as new measures to slash obesity levels are introduced. Some MPs (the slimmer ones) have approved the fitment of a range of new impla...

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Funny story: Trans Fats Suspected Behind LGBT Smear

Trans Fats Suspected Behind LGBT Smear

London, UK - (Lardarse Mess): A controversial government paper is being blamed for outrage among Britain’s LGBT community after linking non-binaries’ obesity with orally-ingested** trans fats. Researchers say the artificially-engineered dietary l...

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Funny story: Obese Aussie rats blame humans for getting stuck in drains!

Obese Aussie rats blame humans for getting stuck in drains!

Modern day garbage is causing a fat epidemic in subterranean Australia. In the past, rats fed on discarded, rotting cabbage leaves, stinking fish rests, Brussels sprouts, and so on. In fact, a healthy, calorie-reduced diet. However, human food con...

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Funny story: Wellness Experts Suggest Comparing Yourself To Others

Wellness Experts Suggest Comparing Yourself To Others

“Don’t compare yourself to others, it’s not a competition.” For years, these words were considered by many to be a foundation to a better life. However, in a recent nationwide poll, it would appear that we were wrong. Many leading wellness experts have come forward to confirm that not only will comparing yourself to others better your quality of life, but it will also decrease your need for social...

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Funny story: Fat Bastard Also Had Halitosis

Fat Bastard Also Had Halitosis

An obese woman who must have weighed around 400lbs also had breath so foul-smelling that many people talking to her would insist upon her observing a buffer, or 'exclusion zone' for their own protection. Angelina Jung, around 38, was a supervisor...

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Funny story: Grange Hill Roland Says He Only Ate When He Was Hungry

Grange Hill Roland Says He Only Ate When He Was Hungry

Erkan Mustafa, the child actor who was one of the stars in children's teatime drama 'Grange Hill', has claimed that he wasn't fat, he just had big bones. Mustafa, who played overweight Roland Browning - nickname 'Roly' - could be seen almost perpe...

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Funny story: Fat Boy, 6, Sits On Computer Chair, And Smashes It Beyond Recognition

Fat Boy, 6, Sits On Computer Chair, And Smashes It Beyond Recognition

There was hysterical laughter aplenty at one school in Battambang this morning, when a student sat down rather too heavily on a computer chair, whereupon it disintegrated underneath him. The boy, aged 6, and weighing around 150lbs, was waiting to...

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