Shat-al-Arab, Middle East - (Blubber Mess): The Grand Mufti has issued a fatwa informing the people that the super-plus sized princeling is one big fat jerk. The proclamation comes after Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman tipped the scales at more than...
Japanese companies have begun investing heavily in the UK in people who they see as sports stars of the future - but they are not choosing the most athletic types. The Japanese name for Britain is "Shibō Orokamono no Shima", which translates as "isla...
With over 70 percent of Americans exceeding their ideal weight and 33 percent obese, the Food and Drug Administration has, for logistical purposes, officially abandoned its use of the term "overweight" in favor of the term "natural weight." "We wa...
MANDATORY automatic calorie limiters could soon be implanted into all new-born babies within the next three years, as new measures to slash obesity levels are introduced. Some MPs (the slimmer ones) have approved the fitment of a range of new impla...
London, UK - (Lardarse Mess): A controversial government paper is being blamed for outrage among Britain’s LGBT community after linking non-binaries’ obesity with orally-ingested** trans fats. Researchers say the artificially-engineered dietary l...
Modern day garbage is causing a fat epidemic in subterranean Australia. In the past, rats fed on discarded, rotting cabbage leaves, stinking fish rests, Brussels sprouts, and so on. In fact, a healthy, calorie-reduced diet. However, human food con...
“Don’t compare yourself to others, it’s not a competition.” For years, these words were considered by many to be a foundation to a better life. However, in a recent nationwide poll, it would appear that we were wrong. Many leading wellness experts have come forward to confirm that not only will comparing yourself to others better your quality of life, but it will also decrease your need for social...
An obese woman who must have weighed around 400lbs also had breath so foul-smelling that many people talking to her would insist upon her observing a buffer, or 'exclusion zone' for their own protection. Angelina Jung, around 38, was a supervisor...
Erkan Mustafa, the child actor who was one of the stars in children's teatime drama 'Grange Hill', has claimed that he wasn't fat, he just had big bones. Mustafa, who played overweight Roland Browning - nickname 'Roly' - could be seen almost perpe...
There was hysterical laughter aplenty at one school in Battambang this morning, when a student sat down rather too heavily on a computer chair, whereupon it disintegrated underneath him. The boy, aged 6, and weighing around 150lbs, was waiting to...
Roseanne Barr, the comedienne whose 'Roseanne' show made a stunning comeback recently, has been labelled 'big' and 'large', by Valerie Jarrett, a Senior Advisor to former president Barack Obama. The roly-poly funnywoman, 65, whose new version of t...
If you're a blue-jeans-wearing kind of gal (or guy), then you're aware of the fashion revolution that is stretch denim – but what you may not know is that the research and development of stretch denim was funded by Big Food (namely, Nestle, McDonald'...
A new study released today by the American Psychological Association reports that people are funny - not funny in the "ha-ha sense," clarified APA President Evan Cartwright, but funny as in "weird, strange, bizarre. F-ed up, if you will.” Cartwrig...
The Beast from the East is about to be eclipsed as a tsunami approaches from the West smothering everything with fatty and sugar-filled food from the US!! A trade deal is imminent with the UK's greatest allies across the Atlantic and, instead of h...
Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...
Stodgy treacle puddings lashed with sugar-ridden custard, fatty meat, gravy, over-cooked tasteless vegetables, fried egg and bacon breakfasts with sugar-dosed cereals, and other hospital delicacies, are more healthy claim UK hospitals than chocolate!...
A recent research by scientists, healthcare experts and fitness freaks has proven to the whole world that fundamentally, Brits are damn lazy! 45% of over 16's prefer to laze on the sofa, drink cans of lager, refuse to go out for a brisk walk to th...
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