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Funny satire stories about Obesity

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Funny story: Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman Is A Lardarse Says Fatwa

Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman Is A Lardarse Says Fatwa

Shat-al-Arab, Middle East - (Blubber Mess): The Grand Mufti has issued a fatwa informing the people that the super-plus sized princeling is one big fat jerk. The proclamation comes after Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman tipped the scales at more than...

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Funny story: Fat kids encouraged to do more sport

Fat kids encouraged to do more sport

Japanese companies have begun investing heavily in the UK in people who they see as sports stars of the future - but they are not choosing the most athletic types. The Japanese name for Britain is "Shibō Orokamono no Shima", which translates as "isla...

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Funny story: FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

With over 70 percent of Americans exceeding their ideal weight and 33 percent obese, the Food and Drug Administration has, for logistical purposes, officially abandoned its use of the term "overweight" in favor of the term "natural weight." "We wa...

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Funny story: Humans to be fitted with Calorie Limiters to curb obesity

Humans to be fitted with Calorie Limiters to curb obesity

MANDATORY automatic calorie limiters could soon be implanted into all new-born babies within the next three years, as new measures to slash obesity levels are introduced. Some MPs (the slimmer ones) have approved the fitment of a range of new impla...

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Funny story: Trans Fats Suspected Behind LGBT Smear

Trans Fats Suspected Behind LGBT Smear

London, UK - (Lardarse Mess): A controversial government paper is being blamed for outrage among Britain’s LGBT community after linking non-binaries’ obesity with orally-ingested** trans fats. Researchers say the artificially-engineered dietary l...

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Funny story: Obese Aussie rats blame humans for getting stuck in drains!

Obese Aussie rats blame humans for getting stuck in drains!

Modern day garbage is causing a fat epidemic in subterranean Australia. In the past, rats fed on discarded, rotting cabbage leaves, stinking fish rests, Brussels sprouts, and so on. In fact, a healthy, calorie-reduced diet. However, human food con...

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Funny story: Wellness Experts Suggest Comparing Yourself To Others

Wellness Experts Suggest Comparing Yourself To Others

“Don’t compare yourself to others, it’s not a competition.” For years, these words were considered by many to be a foundation to a better life. However, in a recent nationwide poll, it would appear that we were wrong. Many leading wellness experts have come forward to confirm that not only will comparing yourself to others better your quality of life, but it will also decrease your need for social...

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Funny story: Fat Bastard Also Had Halitosis

Fat Bastard Also Had Halitosis

An obese woman who must have weighed around 400lbs also had breath so foul-smelling that many people talking to her would insist upon her observing a buffer, or 'exclusion zone' for their own protection. Angelina Jung, around 38, was a supervisor...

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Funny story: Grange Hill Roland Says He Only Ate When He Was Hungry

Grange Hill Roland Says He Only Ate When He Was Hungry

Erkan Mustafa, the child actor who was one of the stars in children's teatime drama 'Grange Hill', has claimed that he wasn't fat, he just had big bones. Mustafa, who played overweight Roland Browning - nickname 'Roly' - could be seen almost perpe...

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Funny story: Fat Boy, 6, Sits On Computer Chair, And Smashes It Beyond Recognition

Fat Boy, 6, Sits On Computer Chair, And Smashes It Beyond Recognition

There was hysterical laughter aplenty at one school in Battambang this morning, when a student sat down rather too heavily on a computer chair, whereupon it disintegrated underneath him. The boy, aged 6, and weighing around 150lbs, was waiting to...

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Funny story: Roseanne Barr Described As 'Big' And 'Large'

Roseanne Barr Described As 'Big' And 'Large'

Roseanne Barr, the comedienne whose 'Roseanne' show made a stunning comeback recently, has been labelled 'big' and 'large', by Valerie Jarrett, a Senior Advisor to former president Barack Obama. The roly-poly funnywoman, 65, whose new version of t...

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Funny story: PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim

PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim

If you're a blue-jeans-wearing kind of gal (or guy), then you're aware of the fashion revolution that is stretch denim – but what you may not know is that the research and development of stretch denim was funded by Big Food (namely, Nestle, McDonald'...

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Funny story: LOL??? New Study Reports that People Are Funny

LOL??? New Study Reports that People Are Funny

A new study released today by the American Psychological Association reports that people are funny - not funny in the "ha-ha sense," clarified APA President Evan Cartwright, but funny as in "weird, strange, bizarre. F-ed up, if you will.” Cartwrig...

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Funny story: UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!

UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!

The Beast from the East is about to be eclipsed as a tsunami approaches from the West smothering everything with fatty and sugar-filled food from the US!! A trade deal is imminent with the UK's greatest allies across the Atlantic and, instead of h...

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Funny story: FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...

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Funny story: UK hospitals ban chocolates and fizzy drinks claiming their food is healthier?

UK hospitals ban chocolates and fizzy drinks claiming their food is healthier?

Stodgy treacle puddings lashed with sugar-ridden custard, fatty meat, gravy, over-cooked tasteless vegetables, fried egg and bacon breakfasts with sugar-dosed cereals, and other hospital delicacies, are more healthy claim UK hospitals than chocolate!...

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Funny story: It is a fact proven by scientists; 45% of Brits are damn lazy!

It is a fact proven by scientists; 45% of Brits are damn lazy!

A recent research by scientists, healthcare experts and fitness freaks has proven to the whole world that fundamentally, Brits are damn lazy! 45% of over 16's prefer to laze on the sofa, drink cans of lager, refuse to go out for a brisk walk to th...

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