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Funny satire stories about Obesity

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Humans to be fitted with Calorie Limiters to curb obesity

Funny story: Humans to be fitted with Calorie Limiters to curb obesity

MANDATORY automatic calorie limiters could soon be implanted into all new-born babies within the next three years, as new measures to slash obesity levels are introduced. Some MPs (the slimmer ones) have approved the fitment of a range of new impla...

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Trans Fats Suspected Behind LGBT Smear

Funny story: Trans Fats Suspected Behind LGBT Smear

London, UK - (Lardarse Mess): A controversial government paper is being blamed for outrage among Britain’s LGBT community after linking non-binaries’ obesity with orally-ingested** trans fats. Researchers say the artificially-engineered dietary l...

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Obese Aussie rats blame humans for getting stuck in drains!

Funny story: Obese Aussie rats blame humans for getting stuck in drains!

Modern day garbage is causing a fat epidemic in subterranean Australia. In the past, rats fed on discarded, rotting cabbage leaves, stinking fish rests, Brussels sprouts, and so on. In fact, a healthy, calorie-reduced diet. However, human food con...

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Wellness Experts Suggest Comparing Yourself To Others

“Don’t compare yourself to others, it’s not a competition.” For years, these words were considered by many to be a foundation to a better life. However, in a recent nationwide poll, it would appear that we were wrong. Many leading wellness experts have come forward to confirm that not only will comparing yourself to others better your quality of life, but it will also decrease your need for social...

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Fat Bastard Also Had Halitosis

Funny story: Fat Bastard Also Had Halitosis

An obese woman who must have weighed around 400lbs also had breath so foul-smelling that many people talking to her would insist upon her observing a buffer, or 'exclusion zone' for their own protection. Angelina Jung, around 38, was a supervisor...

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Grange Hill Roland Says He Only Ate When He Was Hungry

Funny story: Grange Hill Roland Says He Only Ate When He Was Hungry

Erkan Mustafa, the child actor who was one of the stars in children's teatime drama 'Grange Hill', has claimed that he wasn't fat, he just had big bones. Mustafa, who played overweight Roland Browning - nickname 'Roly' - could be seen almost perpe...

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Fat Boy, 6, Sits On Computer Chair, And Smashes It Beyond Recognition

Funny story: Fat Boy, 6, Sits On Computer Chair, And Smashes It Beyond Recognition

There was hysterical laughter aplenty at one school in Battambang this morning, when a student sat down rather too heavily on a computer chair, whereupon it disintegrated underneath him. The boy, aged 6, and weighing around 150lbs, was waiting to...

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Roseanne Barr Described As 'Big' And 'Large'

Funny story: Roseanne Barr Described As 'Big' And 'Large'

Roseanne Barr, the comedienne whose 'Roseanne' show made a stunning comeback recently, has been labelled 'big' and 'large', by Valerie Jarrett, a Senior Advisor to former president Barack Obama. The roly-poly funnywoman, 65, whose new version of t...

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PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim

Funny story: PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim

If you're a blue-jeans-wearing kind of gal (or guy), then you're aware of the fashion revolution that is stretch denim – but what you may not know is that the research and development of stretch denim was funded by Big Food (namely, Nestle, McDonald'...

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LOL??? New Study Reports that People Are Funny

Funny story: LOL??? New Study Reports that People Are Funny

A new study released today by the American Psychological Association reports that people are funny - not funny in the "ha-ha sense," clarified APA President Evan Cartwright, but funny as in "weird, strange, bizarre. F-ed up, if you will.” Cartwrig...

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UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!

Funny story: UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!

The Beast from the East is about to be eclipsed as a tsunami approaches from the West smothering everything with fatty and sugar-filled food from the US!! A trade deal is imminent with the UK's greatest allies across the Atlantic and, instead of h...

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FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Funny story: FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...

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UK hospitals ban chocolates and fizzy drinks claiming their food is healthier?

Funny story: UK hospitals ban chocolates and fizzy drinks claiming their food is healthier?

Stodgy treacle puddings lashed with sugar-ridden custard, fatty meat, gravy, over-cooked tasteless vegetables, fried egg and bacon breakfasts with sugar-dosed cereals, and other hospital delicacies, are more healthy claim UK hospitals than chocolate!...

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It is a fact proven by scientists; 45% of Brits are damn lazy!

Funny story: It is a fact proven by scientists; 45% of Brits are damn lazy!

A recent research by scientists, healthcare experts and fitness freaks has proven to the whole world that fundamentally, Brits are damn lazy! 45% of over 16's prefer to laze on the sofa, drink cans of lager, refuse to go out for a brisk walk to th...

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Americant Airlines to double passengers per flight with THIS

Funny story: Americant Airlines to double passengers per flight with THIS

Washington D.C. - The Federal courts have cleared the way for Americant Airlines to use THIS new invention to double passenger payload. The Federal courts have cleared the way for Americant Airlines to use THIS new invention to double passenger pa...

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After local man reads foreign food label with kilocalorie counts instead of calorie counts, extreme diet leads to death

Funny story: After local man reads foreign food label with kilocalorie counts instead of calorie counts, extreme diet leads to death

Washington, D.C. - Excess calorie intake is the primary contributor to the obesity epidemic plaguing most developed nations, but eating a minimum level of calories is key to life and longevity. We all know that we should eat about 2,000 calories per...

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Brit fatties overtake German fatties as Nr 2 behind global leaders, US fatties!

Funny story: Brit fatties overtake German fatties as Nr 2 behind global leaders, US fatties!

Once upon a time German male holidaymakers took the biscuit in showing off their mega-beer-bellied, sausage gorging fatties proudly patrolling the beaches, swimming pools and other near naked holiday places. It seems that ranking has now been take...

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Fast Food restaurants ban "Healthy" looking people

Funny story: Fast Food restaurants ban "Healthy" looking people

Only in Trumps America would such a move be considered in keeping with current equality laws. After recent pressure from 'large' groups of eatavists, several fast food restaurant chains have given in and applied a nationwide ban on healthy peopl...

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