COLUMBIA, South Carolina - (Spoof News) - In a move that has left local chefs and foodies in a state of utter disbelief, the South Carolina state senate has voted to ban the use of salt in all food preparation. The vote was spurred by a wave of co…
Beer! - Beer is high in calories and can lead to weight gain if consumed excessively. It is also high in carbohydrates, which can be converted into belly fat if the body does not use them for energy. Additionally, beer can disrupt hormonal balanc…
Medicine has announced a new disease Long Obesity. They expect to make a lot of money treating it. There has always been Obesity, about 10% of the human raced inherit Obesity genes. Most get obese from years of overeating. Human society h…
Janet, who lost her favourite red mug a while ago is now seen as the office sociopath because she often brings in a homemade cake for the team. The 51-year-old receptionist brings in her favourite walnut and coffee cake on the last Friday of the m…
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Reports are that Ginni Thomas contacted Weight Watchers about being one of their spokespersons, but they let her know in no uncertain terms that they are not interested in her at all. When she asked why, she was tol…
A recent study by top Geneva body-weight index scientists have found an exciting new co-relation between fat and fuel. One can solve the other! Which country has the most overweight people in the world? It’s not America, but American Samoa. Cou…
Dr. Futuro is a Futurologist and head of Obesity research in London. According to his latest theory, about 5 million years ago, our Pre - Pre - Pre (100, 000 'Pre - ') Ancestors were on the beach in Ethiopia. They weren't quite human yet but were…
SEATTLE - (Satire News) - All of her life, Dora Flora Hogwood, has battled fatness. When she was born she was so huge, that her mom's screams could be heard four blocks from the hospital's delivery room. At birth, little Dora tipped the scales at…
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The Wild Whispers News Agency has just made it known that the soon-to-be Sing Sing prisoner, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump has just ballooned up to 401 pounds. WWNA writer Margarita Mixx, talked with the Trumptard's…
PILGRIM MUSKET, Massachusetts – (Satire News) – One of the most unusual clubs anywhere in the nation is the East Coast Polar Bear Club. These folks will put on their summer swimsuits and bikinis in the middle of winter and then proceed to jump int…
Having recently lost 4 and a half stone, Thomas Thompson was feeling good about himself, only for the look of disgust on his date's face to dent his confidence. 'I have a thing for bulkier chaps,' said date Zoe, 'and in his photos Tom was bulkier,…
MAR-a-LAGO – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of the Trump Dixieland Mansion state that Mrs. Trump is just about ready to throw in the damn food towel. Melly’s BFF LeBron James reports that the former first lady has gotten to where she cannot ev…
DETROIT – (Satire News) – The twice-impeached former occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue was in Detroit, getting an estimate on having stomach liposuction. The Daily Dirt’s Stormy Coin said she spoke with his liposuctionist, who told her that old…
After a visit to the fascinating museum in Bastogne, Belgium, dedicated to one of the most horrendous battles of WW2, many visitors after leaving the place stare at their own 'Bulges' and feel quite guilty, especially US visitors! During their vis…
Joey Chestnut, who repeated his winning ways in this year’s edition of Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, accomplished the nearly miraculous and unbelievably revolting act of eating 76 full sized hotdogs and buns in roughly 10 minutes. It was a…
Paducah, Ky: Bethany Gathers was on a mindful meditation walk when she started to run. Rudy, her husband heard screaming. “I knew it was Betty. I thought she was in some kind of trouble. Then she seen me and was hollerin’ "oh, I’m happy, I’m finally…
The lockdown is something that is, obviously, not a good thing for many people, but it is a necessary evil, if we are to eradicate COVID-19. However, on the path to vaccines, there are many mountains to climb, especially with women developing 'barge-…
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