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Funny satire stories about Obesity

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Funny story: A Obese Woman From Seattle Swallows 119 Diet Pills and Loses 16 Pounds In 45 Minutes

A Obese Woman From Seattle Swallows 119 Diet Pills and Loses 16 Pounds In 45 Minutes

SEATTLE - (Satire News) - All of her life, Dora Flora Hogwood, has battled fatness. When she was born she was so huge, that her mom's screams could be heard four blocks from the hospital's delivery room. At birth, little Dora tipped the scales at…

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Funny story: Donald Trump Has Officially Hit 400 Pounds!

Donald Trump Has Officially Hit 400 Pounds!

NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The Wild Whispers News Agency has just made it known that the soon-to-be Sing Sing prisoner, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump has just ballooned up to 401 pounds. WWNA writer Margarita Mixx, talked with the Trumptard's…

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Funny story: Three Female Members of The Polar Bear Club Were Hoping That The Frigid Waters Would Shrink Their Bodies

Three Female Members of The Polar Bear Club Were Hoping That The Frigid Waters Would Shrink Their Bodies

PILGRIM MUSKET, Massachusetts – (Satire News) – One of the most unusual clubs anywhere in the nation is the East Coast Polar Bear Club. These folks will put on their summer swimsuits and bikinis in the middle of winter and then proceed to jump int…

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Funny story: Dieting man disappoints online date

Dieting man disappoints online date

Having recently lost 4 and a half stone, Thomas Thompson was feeling good about himself, only for the look of disgust on his date's face to dent his confidence. 'I have a thing for bulkier chaps,' said date Zoe, 'and in his photos Tom was bulkier,…

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Funny story: Melania Trump Is Desperately Seeking An Exorcist To Drag The Food Demons Out of Donaldo’s Fat-Ass Body

Melania Trump Is Desperately Seeking An Exorcist To Drag The Food Demons Out of Donaldo’s Fat-Ass Body

MAR-a-LAGO – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of the Trump Dixieland Mansion state that Mrs. Trump is just about ready to throw in the damn food towel. Melly’s BFF LeBron James reports that the former first lady has gotten to where she cannot ev…

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Funny story: Donald Trump To Have Liposuction Surgery To Remove 97 Pounds of Fu*king Fat From His Gigantic Belly

Donald Trump To Have Liposuction Surgery To Remove 97 Pounds of Fu*king Fat From His Gigantic Belly

DETROIT – (Satire News) – The twice-impeached former occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue was in Detroit, getting an estimate on having stomach liposuction. The Daily Dirt’s Stormy Coin said she spoke with his liposuctionist, who told her that old…

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Funny story: US visitors to the Belgian 'Battle of the Bulge' museum in Bastogne start battling their own 'Bulges!'

US visitors to the Belgian 'Battle of the Bulge' museum in Bastogne start battling their own 'Bulges!'

After a visit to the fascinating museum in Bastogne, Belgium, dedicated to one of the most horrendous battles of WW2, many visitors after leaving the place stare at their own 'Bulges' and feel quite guilty, especially US visitors! During their vis…

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Funny story: Joey Chestnut, America’s Favorite Glutton, Wins Again

Joey Chestnut, America’s Favorite Glutton, Wins Again

Joey Chestnut, who repeated his winning ways in this year’s edition of Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, accomplished the nearly miraculous and unbelievably revolting act of eating 76 full sized hotdogs and buns in roughly 10 minutes. It was a…

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Funny story: Woman Finds Happiness Before Wood-chipper Demise

Woman Finds Happiness Before Wood-chipper Demise

Paducah, Ky: Bethany Gathers was on a mindful meditation walk when she started to run. Rudy, her husband heard screaming. “I knew it was Betty. I thought she was in some kind of trouble. Then she seen me and was hollerin’ "oh, I’m happy, I’m finally…

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Funny story: Mass anti-lockdown protests in London by women with 'barge-arses', and men with huge 'beer guts!!'

Mass anti-lockdown protests in London by women with 'barge-arses', and men with huge 'beer guts!!'

The lockdown is something that is, obviously, not a good thing for many people, but it is a necessary evil, if we are to eradicate COVID-19. However, on the path to vaccines, there are many mountains to climb, especially with women developing 'barge-…

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Funny story: Shock Findings Expose Obesity's Causes

Shock Findings Expose Obesity's Causes

Scientists in China have been studying the main causes of obesity. For the last seven years, the Wuhan Fat Observatory has been testing overweight people, and have just published their findings. The main factor appears to be caused by bacteria in…

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Funny story: Nevada Cheerleader Sacked

Nevada Cheerleader Sacked

There was controversy all the way down the sidelines at the University of Nevada this week, when its football team - the Nevada Wolf Pack - took the extraordinary step of banishing one of its cheerleaders from the squad for failing to come up to its…

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Funny story: Mom Tells Son That Eating Fruit And Vegetables Will Make Him Grow Up Big And Strong

Mom Tells Son That Eating Fruit And Vegetables Will Make Him Grow Up Big And Strong

Looking after your children properly and administering good advice is what being a parent is all about, and that's what one caring mom was thinking yesterday when she advised her four-year-old son that eating fruit and vegetables would make him big a…

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Funny story: Government redefines 'vegetable' to tackle obesity

Government redefines 'vegetable' to tackle obesity

The current drive to reduce obesity took a strange turn today. Mike Okesflat, Health Minister, told us that, rather than get people to eat less and exercise more, they would simply redefine the meaning of 'vegetable'. "We all know that you hav…

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Funny story: Government scheme to promote cycling for health stumbles at first hurdle

Government scheme to promote cycling for health stumbles at first hurdle

A government scheme offering £50 bike repair vouchers will launch in England on Tuesday, as part of plans to boost cycling and walking. It comes after the government launched its obesity strategy on Monday. Grant Shapps, currently on holiday in Sp…

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Funny story: Boris Johnson tackles the current Covid-19 obesity links

Boris Johnson tackles the current Covid-19 obesity links

Boris Johnson has pointed the country to some alarming statistics regarding the health of the UK. At a Press Conference held at the Lardy Gym in Paisley earlier today, Mr Johnson said, "More than 60% of adults in the UK are overweight or obese ac…

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Funny story: Boris Johnson forbids 2 for 1 junk food bargain buys in Brit supermarkets as he stocks up on Mars Bars!

Boris Johnson forbids 2 for 1 junk food bargain buys in Brit supermarkets as he stocks up on Mars Bars!

(UNEDITED) Edited: A van loaded with 'choccy' delicacies was secretly delivered to Nr 10 Downing Street on Sunday including, Snickers, Mars Bars, Kit Kat, and Ferrero Rocher, especially for BOJO's missus, plus deep frozen pizzas, burgers and kebabs.

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