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Funny story: FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

With over 70 percent of Americans exceeding their ideal weight and 33 percent obese, the Food and Drug Administration has, for logistical purposes, officially abandoned its use of the term "overweight" in favor of the term "natural weight." "We wa...

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Funny story: FDA Urges Americans to Keep Health Goals Aspirational

FDA Urges Americans to Keep Health Goals Aspirational

With the New Year and its associated array of resolutions fast approaching, the Food and Drug Administration has urged Americans contemplating losing weight and getting in shape to keep their health and fitness goals aspirational. “People have the...

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Funny story: New feminist org petitions FDA to stop manufacture of testosterone drugs!

New feminist org petitions FDA to stop manufacture of testosterone drugs!

A new feminist organization calling itself the..."Alt Pussy" has announced its petition to the FDA to curtail all manufacturing of testosterone drugs in the USA. The group is made up primarily of women harassed by Harvey Weinstein, Bill O'Reilly and...

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Funny story: Antisocial behavior vaccine developed

Antisocial behavior vaccine developed

Some call the new vaccine racist, but scientists are starting human trials of a vaccine designed to stop antisocial behaviors. "The police asked us to come up with something to stop the rampant increase in crime. They asked if it were possible to cre...

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Funny story: Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Durham, NC [PP] -- On Monday, Dook University released what may be a first for modern science, a therapeutic cigarette which very well could cure some forms of cancer. Dr. Ralph Jones, director of research says, "This is groundbreaking research, t...

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Funny story: FDA Reviews Previously Denied Drug Applications

FDA Reviews Previously Denied Drug Applications

Stocks are soaring for pharmaceutical companies as the FDA looks at easing regulatory restrictions for bringing new drugs to market. Even better for Big Pharma, the FDA will review drug applications that were denied in the past. But there are m...

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Funny story: Feds Seize Record 10 Tons Of Organic Chicken from KFC

Feds Seize Record 10 Tons Of Organic Chicken from KFC

The announcement by the FDA on Wednesday morning has sent a shock wave through the U.S. fast food industry and startled even its most loyal consumer base. The discovery, hidden in near plain sight within KFC's supply chain, has shaken the very t...

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Funny story: A few rotten apples threaten to spoil the world's food supply

A few rotten apples threaten to spoil the world's food supply

Beaverview, Washington -- Al Qaeda is turning the wholesome apple into a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Using the ice machine from a hijacked Malaysian airliner and a hotwired PlayStation, the terror group has created a generically modified apple th...

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Funny story: Wallgreens: "We're more than a pharmacy; we're your neighborhood hospital!"

Wallgreens: "We're more than a pharmacy; we're your neighborhood hospital!"

Wallgreens has always wanted to be your pharmacy. Now, the drug store chain apparently wants to be your doctor, too. Not only does it operate a Mini Klinik in each of its locations, but the company also decides whether or not to fill its customers' p...

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Funny story: FDA Rules That Fruit Sticker Shock Not Harmful

FDA Rules That Fruit Sticker Shock Not Harmful

Silver Spring, MD - The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has released it's official position regarding fruit sticker-shock. The FDA has determined that no physical harm results and that any emotional repercussions are outside its official juri...

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Funny story: FDA and EPA join forces to combat new death by aspartame study

FDA and EPA join forces to combat new death by aspartame study

Washington D.C. - As the United States Federal government is about to run out of cash, our sources report that the FDA and the EPA are about to re-launch aspartame as a vitamin. In the light of a recent study showing that aspartame kills women (...

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Funny story: Amason.org to Deliver Books Intravenously

Amason.org to Deliver Books Intravenously

Amason.org, the world's largest internet goods purveyor, has announced plans to deliver novels and other books directly to the reader in the quickest manner possible-via intravenous Infusion. Fancy some Proust? Interested in Ivanhoe? "The Dickens", y...

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Funny story: FDA Approves Morning After Pill For Males: Let's Them Forget Coyote Ugly Sex Partners

FDA Approves Morning After Pill For Males: Let's Them Forget Coyote Ugly Sex Partners

BILLINGSGATE POST - With all of the controversy surrounding yesterday's announcement that the FDA has approved the morning after pill for females 15 years and older who wish to make sure the fun they had the night before doesn't result in a pregnancy...

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Funny story: Scientist Developes Turd Steaks, Truth stranger than spoof?

Scientist Developes Turd Steaks, Truth stranger than spoof?

A Japanese scientist has developed the worlds first food group made from human excrement. Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, found that sewage mud has a lot of protein in it, beef has a lot of protein in it so why not comb...

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Funny story: Idaho has hard time finding stockpile of potatos

Idaho has hard time finding stockpile of potatos

Boise, ID - On a day that the air was as crisp an the bacon goodness on grandma's apple pie, Idahoan's found out a disturbing piece news, all their potatoes are gone. GOP representative Raul Labrador was in Boise, ID today to speak on behalf of all...

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Funny story: Levaquin approved for treating plague, but not soon enough to prevent Black Death

Levaquin approved for treating plague, but not soon enough to prevent Black Death

HARFOLD, Vt. - Levaquin (levofloxacin) has been approved by the FDA for the treatment and prevention of the plague. The only problem is that the FDA's decision comes some 665 years after the new drug would've done any goddamn good. "Unless you sen...

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Funny story: FDA Re-Classifies Caesar Salad as Health Food

FDA Re-Classifies Caesar Salad as Health Food

To the surprise of many nutritionists and health experts, the Food and Drug Administration has announced a revision to its "Good for You" food list, which will now include the long-time pseudo-healthy menu choice known as the Caesar Salad. A tradi...

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